I feel like I’m standing in the middle of the five-way intersection pictured in my recent post at Parentables on how to pick a good doctor.

Kids, career, husband, house, garden, community, friends, parents: how do I manage it all? And what is really important? Is happiness more important than success? Are kids more important than career?

As if there was some kind of synchronicity in the world right now, a few of my favorite writers are asking similar questions. And providing some answers.

In I am mother. But first, I was just me., Meagan Francis of The Happiest Mom ponders whether we should throw ourselves into parenting (or any activity of the moment):

Right now my life is so wrapped up in my family and home that it would feel natural, and true, to say I live for and around and through my children.

But the kids, the family, can’t be the whole picture. Kyran’s right: eventually children grow up. At some point the people who are most important to you move away or die.

I think the key is in realizing that everything is temporary. That our children aren’t ours to keep, and that this intense period of our lives – along with the stresses and wonders it brings – will pass. But the parts of ourselves that we now apply so fervently to our role of “mother” will remain.

And those essential pieces of us will need new outlets…outlets that we would be well-served to begin seeking and nurturing now, even in the thick of motherhood…

In  5 Ways to Know When it’s Time to Let a Dream Die, Britt Reints at Parentables grapples with goals and when it’s OK to revise them:

The beauty of life is that we can’t predict the future, even when we’re setting goals. Perhaps while you were busy dreaming up your perfect life, life was preparing something even better for you down the road.

In The Cost of Being an Overachiever, April Dykman asks whether it’s better to be successful or happy after reading a new study by Timothy Judge, “On the Value of Aiming High: The Causes and Consequences of Ambition.”

While high-achievers enjoy more success in their careers, Judge says that doesn’t lead to a happier, healthier life.

Although the study doesn’t address the reasons for higher mortality rates for Type As, Judge speculated that maybe “…the investments they make in their careers come at the expense of the things we know affect longevity: healthy behaviors, stable relationships and deep social networks,” he says.

And finally, Brigid Schulte at The Washington Post takes a birds-eye look in What’s so bad about American parents, anyway?

American mothers who work outside the home — and that’s three-fourths of all moms, many of whom work full-time — spend more time with their children today than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1960s. They do so by forgoing sleep, personal care, housework and any shred of personal leisure.

No wonder that what [Pamela] Druckerman [author of Bringing up Bebe] sees in Paris — chic mothers with good posture who calmly watch their children play while sipping a latte from a nearby bench — looks so good in comparison. She writes: “They don’t radiate that famous combination of fatigue, worry and on-the-vergeness that’s bursting out of most American moms I know (myself included).”

Why is all this giving me pause?  I started this blog because I wanted to find something as fulfilling as raising children. I thought my basket should hold more than their eggs, since we all know that little birds one day leave the nest. But I didn’t realize how much I would love blogging, and how it would become another intense love that, paradoxically, now battles for space in the basket with the first. I also never imagined finding the community I have found with my readers, essentially creating a new family. Now I have added the all-consuming pursuit of renovating our house and putting down roots in our new home city.

I too, am realizing, that it’s OK to give some goals higher priority than others (home life over career, for now), that it’s all right to ditch some completely (has fame made anyone feel at peace?), and that being happy (not overwhelmed or stressed or ambitious) makes other people around me happy. And people, in the end, are what really matter.

If you click over to any of these posts, I’d love to hear what issues strike a chord with you, too.

I confess I’ve been feeling quite unfrugal recently. All this spending on our house makes me wonder if I’m losing points in the thrift department.

I mean, would a big saver pay an interior designer? Would a savings expert buy a house in one of the most expensive cities? Would a thrifty person renovate — wouldn’t she figure out ways to make do?

But then I thought about it: I have always valued home. I don’t just spend a lot of time at home because it’s frugal. I’m a domestic person. Instead of playing sports or going on nature walks, I love being at home with my kids, cooking, doing crafts, organizing, having people over. The home section is my favorite section of the newspaper. Instead of handbags, antiques are what I love shopping for. And having a haven that is both comfy and pleasing to look at is important to me. Creating a beautiful abode is what my sister, Jenny, would call “functional art.”

Put Your Money Where Your Heart Is

J.D. Roth of Get Rich Slowly says the essence of frugality is spending as little as you can on most things so you can spend lavishly on a few things that you love.

All these years of marriage, while my husband has been in training, we have not been able to spend lavishly. Not spending has become such a way of life that I have almost convinced myself that spending is wrong.

The thing is, it’s OK to spend money responsibly. Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You to Be Rich says, I don’t care if you spend thousands of dollars on shoes, going out, or organic food. As long as you are on-track in meeting your long-term financial goals — whether it’s repaying student loans or setting aside 20% of your income for the future — then it’s all right to live a little.

Plan for the Future, Then Live in the Present

We eat almost all our meals at home, we clean our house, we drive used cars. Since spending less is just one side of the coin, we are working hard to boost income too. My husband recently went from part- to full-time at the hospital; he works most evenings in his private practice; and he has just taken on a third job doing weekend calls. And I’m trying to do my part by ramping up to advertising on my site (thank you for responding to my survey!), and reducing my extraneous work commitments so I am not spreading myself too thin.

Fine wine, luxe trips, and high-end appliances are not important to us. But the one thing we do want to spend our money on is the house. The only reason we were able to afford this house is because it needed some work. And now we’re doing it. And it’s fun and overwhelming and all-consuming and exciting and stressful all at once. But it’s what we wanted — to create a place that feels like home.

Find ways to love inexpensive foods:  That’s one of the points I always make when talking about saving money on groceries.

As you know, I am not a fan of grocery coupons. They complicate our lives and encourage us to buy processed foods and gimmicky products. Thankfully there are more simple solutions to saving money that are also better for us.

Cabbage is one of those inexpensive foods that you will almost never see on sale. While most vegetables cost $2 and up per pound, cabbage usually goes for $0.69 per pound. Cabbage is an excellent source of vitamin C and contains a substance (indole-3-carbinol) which is thought to block the growth of cancer cells.

Cole slaw is not my favorite thing, so I was really happy when I found this way to cook cabbage in Better Homes and Gardens.  The founder of Ireland’s Ballymaloe Cookery School, Darina Allen, says it’s one of her favorite way to combine two Irish specialties: cabbage and butter. Our butter is probably not as flavorful as the butter made in Ireland, where cows are fed on grass most of the year, but this dish is still delicious with generic butter from the grocery store.

My kids now love it (even though it took them a few times to decide). I love it because it requires no chopping and can be out of the fridge and on the table in 15 minutes.

I happen to be making it tonight for my husband’s birthday, together with Mark Bittman’s Roast Pork with Sage and Potatoes and pizza dough focaccia. I hope you like it as much as we do!

Cabbage Braised in Butter

adapted from Better Homes and Gardens (November 2006)

• 1 small head of cabbage
• 1/4 cup butter
• salt and pepper to taste

In a large skillet, melt the butter over medium heat. Peel off the outer leaves of the cabbage, rinse it with water, and cut it into 6 wedges. Cook wedges until brown on one side (about 5 minutes). Turn wedges and cover the pot. Cook another 10 minutes or until the cabbage is browned and tender when pierced with a fork. Sprinkle with salt and pepper just before serving.

(You might also like 7 easy ways to make potatoes yummy.) Do you have a favorite way of eating cabbage?

The sound of circular saws slicing through dry wall and nail guns bulleting through two-by-fours at our house now vies for aural space with Ode to Joy on the Casio.

A fine layer of dust covers our internal landscape like a February flurry, the living room is a mountain range of toys, books, and somewhere, Sofia’s missing tennis shoe, and there is a toilet on our front porch. Our very first home renovation has officially begun.

As you know, one of my goals for this year was to make our house into a home. When a recommended (and affordable) contractor called and said he could come in four days, I took a deep breath, and said, “Okay!” So last Wednesday, our most straight-forward project got underway: we are converting the front room from a library-playroom to a foyer with two closets.

Since the project involves moving the door to the powder room (which we lovingly call “the tiniest bathroom in the world”) from the entry hall to the inside of the room, and removing the recessed can lights, basically every surface is being torn up. A few days into the project, I realized I could choose a new paint color. This is what people who have never owned their own place dream of.

Why Choosing Paint Has Been Compared with Death

In the humorous A Whiter Shade of Pale, Dina Hall aptly points out, however, that picking a paint color can be up there with death, divorce, and marriage as one of life’s stressful moments. With each paint company offering thousands of paint colors and several different lines, choice becomes more of a curse than a blessing.

As you know, I decided to lean on an interior designer to help me make decisions on the house. She helped steer me away from choosing my favorite color for the foyer — coral — which would have looked too choppy (among other things) given we will soon have three big white doors and lots of thick white trim in a small room.

So I ventured into the tiny powder room with cherry red, which made me realize that I had made my first renovating mistake. Ugh, the light switch position could have been a little more discreet!

When you have the chance to create something perfect new, it’s both exhilarating and agonizing. I was traumatized for a few days by the switch in the middle of the wall, until I decided to go with my designer’s suggestion of gray paint in that room.

Now for which gray? Smoke Embers by Benjamin Moore, was a great suggestion — a slight purple-brown cast warmed it up and made it right for the vintage industrial look we are going for in there — but it was still too cold-feeling.

And for the foyer? My designer suggested a pretty understated aqua called Palladian Blue by Benjamin Moore. I love turquoise and robin’s egg blue and sea-foam, so it seemed like a good fit. But another problem with paint is that it looks completely different when applied to a wall.

You can be absolutely completely sure that you love a color on a swatch. You look at it in all sorts of lights, you compare it to other colors, you sleep on it and dream about how much you love it. But when you actually paint on a piece, it is suddenly too green, too wild, or too dark. Alas, the Palladian Blue felt too bright.  (You can see more color, furniture, and fixture ideas for the foyer on my virtual dream board at Pinterest.)

“Just Buy This One”

My friend, Ghi, recently brought to my attention a website called Just Buy This One, whose tagline is: Millions of products. Thousands of shops. Too much choice. Why not stop shopping and start enjoying life?

Amen. But how to accomplish this with paint colors?

I have dragged the kids to the hardware store three times to get paint samples mixed (during with Luke knocked cans of shellac off the shelves and rolled herds of duct tape down the aisles), almost ruined my new room with splattered paint, and agonized for days over a cornucopia of green-blues and blue-grays. I am ready to be done.

My answer is the unique historical 132-color paint palette of Farrow & Ball.

Designers say that Farrow & Ball colors look great in old houses like ours, as well as in contemporary spaces. Their paints are often based on real samples found in old cottages, castles, and country estates in Europe. Many were used by John Fowler, a designer who championed the English Country House style and whose look is described as ‘humble elegance’ or ‘shabby chic.’

I love Farrow & Ball’s old-world names like ‘Lamp Light Gray’ and ‘Eating Room Red.’  The fact that they have narrowed down their palette so much that they can get away with names like ‘Light Blue’ and ‘Olive’ is so refreshingly simple.

After looking at a bunch of interiors done in Farrow & Ball paint, pouring over the F&B color book that my mom lent me, and testing a few colors on the wall, I decided that limiting my choices to the small palette of a respected company like Farrow & Ball is the answer to paint-choice hell.

“You can’t go wrong with Farrow & Ball paints,” says my in-house designer mom, “because they are time-tested.”  And with only a handful of their 132 paint colors being in the light blue-green family, I’m faced with a much more manageable decision.

I am so adamant about my choice to limit my choices, that I have chosen a color for the foyer that I have not even tested on the walls: Farrow & Ball’s Skylight.

Boring? Maybe. Safe? Yes. But the paint search is over. And I can move on with life.

Tip: When testing paint, don’t do like me and drip messy paint all over yourself and your new room. Do like my wiser mother and paint a sheet of cardboard (or a paint-sample board, like this one from Small Wall), and then hang it up on your nice walls. And make sure you take a peek at it at all times of the day, in cloud and in sun.

Here’s how Skylight ended up looking in the room, post-construction:

 

And several months later, with a little more furniture:

 

I love how the color as a calming, old-world feel to it.

 

How to Get Designer Color at a Hardware Store Price

Now for the money-saving trick that I mentioned in the title. According to interior designers, Farrow & Ball paints are unmatched in beauty, depth, and quality. But they are also expensive. They are made one batch at a time in Dorset, England. The company says:

We use more high quality pigments and resins and no low quality ‘fillers’, which gives our colours visibly greater depth and purity often referred to as the ‘Farrow & Ball look’. Unlike many other manufacturers we use naturally occurring pigments, such as Umbers in their purest form, and we continue to use natural ingredients such as Chalk, Lime Putty and China Clay.

Enthusiasts claim that off-the-shelf paints look “plasticky” in comparison. I believe them, but I feel a little foolish plunking down $85 for a gallon of paint when we are just getting started. The solution? Have the paint store match a Farrow & Ball color with an off-the-shelf paint. (You can order a Farrow & Ball free color sample chart or a color book for $35.)

Most paint companies, like Sherwin Williams, have all the colors of other companies keyed into their computer system, so all the matching is done. Last week I ordered up a sample quart of ‘Elephant’s Breath’ and knew I had found the right gray for our industrial chic bathroom (inspired by that cute airplane sink with the exposed pipes).  See more of the vintage industrial look on my Pinterest board of the same name.

When it comes to doing our next project, I may seek out the real thing. For now, in this world of overwhelming choice, I am just relieved to have someone do the homework for me and say, pick this one.

As much as I smile when I remember those Spiderman fold-and-tuck cards and little boxes of conversation hearts that I received in third grade, I love even more making homemade Valentine’s with my kids.

It doesn’t take much more than some construction paper, glue, and a few doilies or candies. And even though two dozen cards can be finished in a single afternoon, usually we have so much fun that we want the project to last longer.

This year, Mark (who is now in preschool) is also joining the Valentine-making group. Sofia and Virginia actually fought over who would help him make his cards, so all I had to do was buy a little bag of chocolate hearts (and break up the fight). And how cool is it, I thought, that my daughters were old enough to be the purveyors of our family tradition.

Here are our favorite ideas:

1.  Lollipop Heart Flowers

One of our all-time favorite Valentine’s cards are these candy flowers. Even though they take a bit more time than other cards, we keep doing them because they’re just so dang cute.

You can see the instructions at Martha Stewart Kids, where I first spied them, but basically each flower needs four paper hearts.

Glue two hearts together so their pointy tips are overlapping. At this point, it’s best for children to write on the petals, something as simple as a “to” and “from” message.

Then glue the other two petals over top like a cross.  Once dry, punch a hole in the middle and insert a Dum-Dum lollipop with a generous dollop of school glue.

We used to be obsessive about using only red, pink, orange, and purple lollipops, but now we use all the colors (which saves money too) and I think they look just fine.

2.  Lollipop Poppies with a Leaf Message

An easier version of the lollipop heart flowers, tissue paper flowers (like the one you see at the top of this post) don’t require cutting out and gluing hearts. Just poke a lollipop stick through a few circles of tissue paper, and add a construction paper circle for the card.

For full instructions and photos, see my post on Lollipop Tissue Paper Flowers.

3.  Chocolate Heart Cards

You could think of a million variations on this very simple concept, but the basic idea is to make a card with thick red paper and glue a foil-wrapped chocolate heart in the center. On the back side (before you attach the chocolate), your child can write a message.

This idea can be tailored to the age of your child and his abilities. When my daughter Virginia was three years old, she didn’t cut out her Valentines. We just drew a heart on a square sheet of paper and glued the candy in the middle.

Last year we glued a small doily to the card, then attached the chocolate.

4.  Each One Unique | Mix-n-Match Craft Supplies

Instead of the assembly line process, the idea here is to fashion cards in whatever way strikes your child’s fancy. If you keep all the supplies in a box that can be put away easily, this project could occupy children for days. My daughter, Sofia, has a Valentine’s birthday, so we have used this project many times as a party activity.

For supplies, just pull out whatever you have on hand, such as leftover scrapbooking paper, ribbon, sequins, wrapping paper, rubber stamps, construction paper, recycled greeting cards, Valentine’s candies, and of course, tools like scissors, glue, and hole punchers. (Stickers kind of ruin the creative, handmade vibe for me, so I don’t put them on the table.)

5.  Doily Cards with One-Line Messages

It still amazes me that something as beautiful and delicate as a paper doily is so commonly available. You can find them at most grocery stores, and the heart-shaped kind usually show up at this time of year.

The very first year we made Valentine’s, we used this model. Sofia was in preschool. We framed a heart doily by gluing it to a piece of construction paper and then cut around it. When we ran out of red and pink pages, we used purple and orange.

Then Sofia “wrote” a sentence to each person on the back. I then translated the scribble for her.

I thought what she wrote to each classmate was so hilarious that I even jotted her phrases down so that I could remember them:

Don’t you love the “I kind-of like you” line?

6.  Cookies in a Cellophane Treat Bag

Now that Sofia is no longer four but is in the fourth grade, she says the idea of exchanging Valentine’s is getting a little weird. She didn’t want to make cutesy cards with a personal message for each person, so we decided on baking bon-bons (our family’s favorite cookie) to give to each classmate.

We used small cellophane treat bags we had left over from another party (which can also be found in craft stores). Then we folded the top twice and stapled it closed with a card-stock tag with “to” and “from” on either side.

7. Candy in a Doily Treat Bag

If you don’t have the time or interest in making cookies, a cellophane bag looks cute filled with colorful candies.  Here we used Valentine’s M&Ms in clear treat bags (3 3/4 inches by 6 inches), which we folded over and stapled with a 4-inch round doily.

The message could be generic for all kids in the class (like Sofia’s, above), which is probably easier for kids and teachers to distribute (but not as individual and sweet).  Or you could write each child’s name on the front of the doily, and your child’s name on the back (with a personal note or not).

Terms of Endearment: Kids Say the Funniest Things

I thought I would wrap up this post with the one-liners my daughters wrote on their Valentine’s cards last year.

Here is what Sofia (age nine) wrote on her cards to her third grade classmates:

• Patrick:  I wish I were as tall as you
• Sylvia:  I like sitting next to you at lunch
• Evan:  You’re awesome because on your birthday you brought in half moon cookies and I like the chocolate part
• Justin:  It’s funny when you say that your desk is spotless
• Kaya:  You’re funny
• Maddie:  It’s funny when you say, “I’m scared of my mommy!”
• Spencer:  Remember when I saw you snowboarding at the Four Seasons?
• Meaghan:  It’s very fun when we go to Brownies together.  Your  mom is a great leader
• Helena:  You’re a beautiful girl
• Maria:  It was fun when were in the same ski class at the Four Seasons
• Liam:  I like it when at morning meeting you always want to sit between Ella and Ella
• Addison:  It’s fun sitting next to you
• Diana:  It was a good idea to make up the “Small Club”
• Ella P:  I love having playdates with you
• Jessica:  You’re a very funny girl
• Ben:  I wish I were as fast at math as you
• Sam:  It was fun when we were in Curriculum Resource together
• Allie:  I wish I were as tall as you, and you are fun to play with
• Samantha:  You are funny and fun to play with
• Bella:  I love your long brown hair
• Mrs. Fedrizzi:  You are the nicest, most gentle and most patient teacher that I ever could have
• Ella H:  It’s cool how we are both in Brownies and Jump to the Wild Side

Sofia helped Mark write messages to his preschool friends this year.

Here is what Virginia (age eight) wrote to her second grade classmates last year:

• Ryan:  I like when you put on the NY Yankees shirt
• Abby:  I like when you get all hyper
• Megan:  You are very, very funny
• Mrs. Gamble:  You are a funny, nice, fun teacher
• Sophie:  I liked acting out Mr. Bean stories
• Maisie:  I like how you laugh
• Madison:  You are soooo funny
• Sophia:  You are very very very very funny
• Sadie:  We are kind of alike because we are both very short
• Connor:  It was fun when we carved pumpkins together
• Nina:  I really really really like your name.   p.s.  My sister does too
• Ian:  I’m really glad you joined our class
• Zachary:  The story of the Scissors that Ran Away you wrote was sooo funny
• Taylor:  Remember when we did the math graph of things-in-hair or no-things-in-hair together?
• Alex:  I like the time we played King Kong and the toucans
• Paris:  We are soooooo alike
• Ronan:  I like when you chose for your birthday song the cha-cha-chas
• Sam:  I like the picture you drew of the planets and the sun
• Sally:  You are so fun to play with
• Luke:  I like the book Skippy Jon Jones your mom read
• Nicholas:  You are very funny
• Sean:  Thank you for letting me make a badge
• Louisa:  Remember when we went to Cats together?

I always feel like I could do better about recording these golden years with young children, so I’m glad that I at least wrote down these little Valentine snippets, which are like tiny portholes into our world.

One way to do this for yourself without creating more work is to ask your child to write down a list of everyone in his class and then a message next to each name. After the messages get transcribed to the cards, you can tuck away the slip of paper in folder marked “Save.”

“OH MY GOD, I cannot reply FAST ENOUGH — get an accountant!!!! The money you shell out to them is worth all the time and energy and stress and frustration that you save…just THINK, in cost-benefit analysis, how much more time it allows you to play with your children, or get exercise, or read a book (maybe?), or…whatever!!! It enables you NOT to be cranky!” –Elizabeth Shammash

This note was just one example of the outpouring of support, encouragement, advice, and recommendations that readers sent me in response to my post a few weeks ago about whether and how I should hire an accountant to handle my self-employment income taxes.

Thank you. Your knowledge is impressive, and I was touched by your generosity with your time and expertise. Now it’s my turn to share what I learned with others who might be looking for an accountant.

(If you have a more straight-forward tax situation, like I did last year, you might like these posts:

How to Get Free Help in Preparing Your Taxes

Free and Low Cost Options for Filing Taxes

Why the Self-Employed Should Fork Over Accounting Fees

The first hurdle for me was figuring out whether I really did need an accountant to handle my husband’s and my new small business income. Being a DIY-enthusiast, I wondered whether I should just buck up and deal with it myself. Readers put me to ease, and everyone whole-heartedly agreed that hiring an accountant for small business taxes is essential:

You were writing the other day about learning to delegate certain tasks — I highly recommend you make this one of them. The time, energy, and positive emotions that you will spend trying to do your own taxes when they become this complicated are not worth it. You’ve got your self-employment income, your husband’s, his other job — it really does get complex, and you can find yourself paying a lot more than you’d like to. –Michelle

Listen to your uncle about hiring a CPA to do your taxes. You are a busy lady with Frugal Mama and your young family and time is precious to you. Initially, you may think you can do taxes yourself or a regular, plain vanilla accountant can do your taxes but depending on your circumstances hiring a CPA specializing in tax work could save money in the long run. Know your strong suit and then hire experts for the rest. –Elizabeth Carmody

You definitely want to get some help with your business accounting and your taxes. It is not worth the worry, time, effort and possibility of costly mistakes to try to do it yourself. I am sure there are great books and software programs out there, but nothing beats a 30 minute consultation with an accountant that deals with small business matters every day. –Amy Ballantine

I have ALWAYS paid an accountant, ESPECIALLY as a self-employed crazy freelance opera singer working in 15 states. AND they are specialists in knowing what you can deduct and all that so that you probably save a bit more in the end. –Elizabeth Shammash

I agree with your other readers, this is one place to “splurge,” you will save yourself boatloads of anxiety and late nights. Your accountant will likely find ways for you to keep some of the income that you won’t realize you can keep/claim/deduct, etc on your own. —Autumn Penaloza

How to Find a Reputable Accountant

OK, so I am convinced that a professional is going to make my life simpler, as well as possibly save me money in the end. But how do I choose an accountant? Just look up someone close by in Google Places? Post on the neighborhood listserv? Ask friends? I did all of those things, but I still wasn’t coming up with the right person.

“I am not a CPA but am married to one,” reader Elizabeth Carmody wrote me. “I would urge you to call and talk to my husband and I am sure his advice will be invaluable — not because he is my husband, but because he knows his stuff and how to communicate it effectively to his clients.”

I took up Elizabeth on her kind offer to call her CPA husband, Timothy Carmody, based in Dallas, Texas. Tim spent a good 30 minutes on the phone with me discussing how to find an accountant, what to look for, and how to save money on fees. You will find his advice sprinkled throughout this post, as well as his contact information (under Personal Recommendations), in case you are looking for an accountant that can work long-distance.

Tim recommended that I ask my husband to talk to other doctors he practices with. If an accountant can handle physicians’ income, he or she could definitely handle my small business income. Here is some more advice from readers:

You may want to check with your local Small Business Development Center (SBDC). SBDC can give you a referral to a CPA that may work primarily on small business, as some of the big firms can be very expensive. In Syracuse I pay our CPA about $450 per year — which includes our personal (and business) tax return, and estimated quarterly payments. –Joan Hebert, MBA, MS, Hebert Performance Training

Call a few, see what services they offer and what they’ll charge, shop around, and get recommendations from other business owners. –Bonnie Timmerman via the Frugal Mama Facebook page

You want to be sure that the person you hire to do your taxes is certified with the IRS & has had ongoing updated classes with new tax laws & tax updates.
Full disclosure: I work for H & R Block. We truly have the best tax professionals qualified to take care of you & your small business. We are required by HRB to take at least 24 hours/year of federal & state classes before being hired back. You can go to www.hrblock.com and find a tax professional there. We all have biographies online with our tax experience & also personal interests. You want an enrolled agent &/or someone that specializes in small business taxes. You also want to be able to sit down with the person that is doing your taxes & ask questions while they are being done. This is a process that you want to understand. If the IRS questions anything, they will hold you accountable because you signed the return. I would be happy to answer any questions you may have. I have been working for HRB for over 10 years now. I love my job!! I love doing taxes, both personal & small business. –Gina Barnowsky

You might also contact your state or local CPA society. They may be able to provide a listing of tax CPA in your area. –Liz Carmody

So what did I do?

I started with the one CPA recommendation I was given: by my lawyer. As I feared, my lawyer’s accountant was a little bit (OK, a lot) pricey. At $340 per hour, he was exactly the kind of high-powered CPA that my readers were telling me I didn’t need. But of course he was knowledgeable and would provide business consulting as part of the package. I started convincing myself that maybe a top accountant was an investment I should be making in Frugal Mama, and that his advice would not only save me on taxes but help me grow my business.

I noticed that my lawyer’s accountant was listed in Washingtonian magazine’s round-up of the city’s best tax accountants, so I called another guy on the list to see if he was any more affordable. At $290 per hour, he wasn’t giving me any breaks. The two accountants, plus Tim, were estimating that our small business accounting fees would run between $500 and $1000, and — if I went with one of these high-profile Washington CPAs — it would definitely be toward the higher end of that range.

Thankfully my husband and my mom brought me down to earth, and I kept on trucking in my search for an affordable accountant.

How to Save Money on Accounting Services

Tim Carmody explained to me that there are varying levels of accounting professionals, and the ones with more experience and education, of course, charge more. A bookkeeper is not licensed but has some knowledge of tax software and accounting; an accountant is anyone with an accounting degree; and a certified public accountant (CPA) has achieved a certain level of experience and has passed an examination that sets national standards for the profession.

He also mentioned I might be able to save money by hiring an enrolled agent, instead of a CPA. An enrolled agent is a tax adviser registered with the federal government, and here in D.C., they are often also retired IRS employees. Here is some more advice from readers:

I am an accountant and almost a cpa. If you can do good bookkeeping yourself, then hiring a tax accountant is much cheaper. The less I have to do to manipulate the wrong numbers (to make them right)… the cheaper it is. So my advice… Learn bookkeeping well. Hire an accountant that knows your industry well. Compare prices of three firms with varying sizes. —Abbie Billings

I am a new mom and a CPA and enjoy reading your blog, so I am very frugal myself. You do not need a high powered (i.e. high cost) accountant to help you as I am sure you are not dealing with complicated tax issues. I am working part time for an expensive firm, but also am self-employed doing taxes and bookkeeping from home. My goal is to be able to stay home with my daughter, but also contribute to the family budget. I am sure you could find someone like me that would be happy to consult with you and not charge the fees that come with the expensive firm. –Amy Ballantine

Determine if you need accounting services or just bookkeeping and see if a junior partner can take care of your needs just as well. –Bonnie Timmerman via Facebook

The main points I took home here are:

1. You can save money with someone who has less experience or fewer credentials.
2. You can seriously reduce your costs if you are organized (something I find true in life). For example, Tim Carmody said that 90% of his CPA fee can be spent on “scorekeeping,” which is translating raw data (like the proverbial shoebox full of receipts) into an organized spreadsheet.
3. If organization is not your strong suit, you might save money by using a tax service which charges by the form (not the hour) like H&R Block. H&R Block might charge $225 for an income tax return, but if you are really methodical, a CPA could do it in 45 minutes for $180.
4. Finally, tax prep fees are deductible the next year, so whatever fee you pay, it might be reduced by as much as 35% by deducting it from the following year’s taxes.

On my to-do list: find a good book on accounting to make sure I’m organizing my finances in the right way. If I want to cut my costs, I am going to have to give up the hand-holding and business consulting.

Personal Recommendations of Accountants for Hire

I was so overwhelmed with the prospect of finding an accountant that when readers gave me a name and a number, it was like they were throwing me a lifesaver in a stormy sea. It sounds melodramatic, but the fact is: we are faced with thousands of decisions every day, and when we are hit with too many big choices one after another, we shut down. It’s called decision fatigue.

So if you find yourself in my situation and just need someone to tell you, “Here’s my accountant. She’s good. Use her,” maybe this list will help. The accountants you see below were either recommended to me by readers or were the readers themselves who offered advice in this post:

Gabe Gayhart, CPA |  gabegayhart @ gmail.com  |  614-575-0544  |  LinkedIn

“I just recently read your post about hiring an accountant.  You might have everyone coming out of the woodwork to recommend an accountant, but I thought I’d throw this out there…  My husband became a CPA about 3 years ago.  He has worked for an electric company in Ohio for about 10 years in their Accounting and Finance departments.  He’s been talking for a while about venturing out on his own but needs to build a client base first.” –Melissa Gayhart, owner of Wooky Baby

Timothy E. Carmody, P.C., CPA  |  972-386-2814

“I am not a CPA but am married to one who specializes in taxes.  He has clients around the US and overseas even though his practice is in Dallas, TX.  His client list ranges from the single taxpayer to corporations, but his bread and butter is with growing entrepreneurs like you.”  –Elizabeth Carmody (Tim is the CPA who offered a lot of the information that appears in this post.)

Jim Colitsas, CPA  | Thomas Colitsas & Associates  |  609-452-0889

“Last year, my husband tried to do our taxes on Turbo Tax, despite the fact that we both had self-employment income, plus I had income from another job. We ended up paying nearly $40,000. When my brother Jim, a CPA, reviewed our taxes, he got us nearly $10,000 back! If we’d let my brother (or my dad, also an accountant!) do our taxes last year, we’d never have had to pay that in the first place. My brother and dad’s practice specialize in self-employed folks like you and me.” –Michelle Marston

Rena C. Pitchess, CPA  |  Pitchess.com

“My hubby, my brother and I have all used the same woman for almost a decade. She is fantastic. So down to earth, extremely smart and more than fair with the rates she charges. Rena Pitchess is her name, find her here if you like: Pitchess.com.” —Autumn Penaloza

Abbie Billings  |  abillings @ mn-cpa.com |  LinkedIn

Abbie is a Frugal Mama reader and CPA candidate who contributed advice to this post.

Amy Ballantine Ellis, CPA  |  amybellis @ nc.rr.com  |  Raleigh, NC  |  910-231-3831

Amy is a Frugal Mama reader and CPA who contributed advice to this post.

How to Get Accounting Services for Free

Tim Carmody pointed out that, if my husband had used a medical billing service (he doesn’t), they might throw in free tax prep as a bonus for using their company. Here are some more ideas from readers:

Find an accountant to know personally or has a passion for your business that simply can be your go-to question person without charging. It’s good to have lawyer and accounting friends. —Abbie Billings

It sounds like you probably just need some occasional consulting and questions answered during the year and then your taxes prepared at year end. You could maybe even offer a trade situation to a self-employed accountant in your area! –Amy Ballantine

 Depending on income level or age, you can get your taxes done for free by an AARP volunteer in your community. My dad is a volunteer, and … it drives him up a wall often, but he adores it. –Christine Jesensky Bennett on Facebook

 Some universities offer these services for free to teach their students which is also a more cost effective alternative. —Abbie Billings

 I saw your comment about needing to find an affordable accountant and I wondered if bartering with one who you could offer an ad to would work, particularly since your blog is about money management. –Sarah Fernandez of Chateau & Bungalow

In the end, this is what happened. Melissa Gayhart, the owner of the small businesses that advertises on my site — a Netflix-style children’s clothing service called Wooky Baby — offered her CPA husband’s services as a trade for free advertising. How could I turn that down? (Gabe Gayhart‘s information is listed above. He is interested in expanding his practice, so if you need someone…)

Given that Gabe is in Ohio and I am in D.C., we are not going to be able to sit down across from each other and talk about accounting practices and ideas for improving my bottom line. But as Liz Carmody pointed out, while it’s always nice to “see your expert in the flesh, many CPAs will have clients with whom they have a long distance relationship. Thanks to fax, scanning, and Fedex the transmittal of information is less of a problem than days of yore.”

So I’ll check out a book about the right way to organize business expenses, but the tax prep itself is in the competent hands of a Certified Public Accountant. I’m so relieved, and grateful, to Gabe, Tim, and all the readers and friends who have helped me solve this once-challenging issue in both a frugal and high-quality way — right up my alley.

Final Words of Wisdom about Taxes — and Getting What You Need

The bottom line is get some help -– you don’t want the IRS sending you love notes! Oh, and 2 more cents –- get the help sooner rather than later –- accountants are anal and like to show you how to do things right from the beginning, not clean up a mess!  –Amy Ballantine

For one last take-away from this experience, I think about the three steps for achieving goals. Figure out what you need, write it down (on a to-do list or a Facebook wall), then talk. The last step is the coolest part, because the world is just a better place when we cooperate and share. So if you tend toward introversion like I do, go against your nature. Reach out. Ask. Say hello to the person in line next to you. You never know what good will come of it. And it will always be good.

Photo credits: Tax shelter, dictionary, board game, calculator with coffee.

I only buy two and one is free. Baking soda, vinegar, and water.

I first tried baking soda and vinegar when I read about earth-friendly cleaning methods for the 98th time and how Martha Stewart does everything with lemon juice and salt, and I knew I could do better. Plus, I had splattered bleach on more pairs of pants than a frugal mama wants to remember.

For a while I would still use some traditional products, because I am kind-of a clean freak. Then I realized that baking soda and vinegar worked just as well. The turning point was when I asked my daughters, who were then five and seven, to help me clean the house. Gentle cleaning products made more sense than ever, and we’ve never turned back.

(Cleaning the house with my kids is a whole other story, but I will say that it is a perfect example of how I think saving money has made our lives better. Working together as a family has brought us closer and seems to center my children.)

Why I Like Cleaning with the Natural Trio

No mental clutter.

I never have to worry about which product is best for which room. Which brand is on sale, which one is offering a coupon. Whether this soap is eco-friendlier than that. I just buy the largest container of generic baking soda and white vinegar, and done.

All-natural.

It’s good for us and all the plants and animals and the water and the air.

Kid-friendly.

My children learn life skills, responsibility, and good habits by helping us keep the house neat and clean.

Saves money.

Baking soda and vinegar are less-expensive than factory-made cleaning products. For example, my vinegar/water solution costs $0.03 per ounce, whereas Windex is four times more expensive at $0.14 per ounce.

How We Clean with Baking Soda, Vinegar & Water

1.  Surfaces that need a little scrubbing — such as sinks, toilet bowls, countertops, or tubs — get a sprinkle of baking soda. (We used to use a shaker like the one pictured to sprinkle the powder, but then the top got jammed shut, so now we just pour it from the cardboard box.)

2.  With a spray bottle filled with a one-to-one solution of vinegar and water, we spritz surfaces that need to be wiped down.

3.  Dusting is done with a damp rag (either water or the vinegar solution).

4.  We clean our floors with this steam mop, which cleans with hot water only, and throw the fabric pad in the wash afterwards.

And that’s it. Occasionally I will use a Magic Eraser sponge on walls, and of course, clothes and dishes have their own detergents, but most household jobs can be done with these simple solutions.

I’m curious to hear: how do you simplify cleaning? Let me know in the comments.

Have you ever noticed that more space attracts more stuff? Parkinson’s law says that work expands to fill the time you give it. And I think it tends to be true with physical space and material things.

More space? More things.

When we lived in Milan and we were just starting our family, we had what was called a two-butt kitchen — it was so narrow that if one person was cooking, there was only space for one other person to pass by.

It probably had about 12 inches of counter space and included a fascinating little appliance that was half-oven and half-dishwasher. (Brings back memories of our first Thanksgiving and how we had to go around to butcher shops with a measuring stick to make sure the turkey would fit!)

Our kitchens in Arlington and Manhattan were barely more spacious. However, I still managed to carve out a corner for my Mom Command Central — a kind of kitchen office that is like the gateway to the outside world. Phone numbers and rechargers, receipts and calendars, rosters and party invitations. This is the stuff that churns everyday life, so it lives in the center of the house: the kitchen.

Cut to today: we can’t believe the size of the kitchen we now have in Washington, D.C. Although it is no Tyler Florence design beauty, the galley kitchen’s white formica countertop extends all the way along the wall into the dining room area for a ridiculous 11 feet. Our family has grown to include four children and a couple of budding businesses, and I think our kitchen paper clutter finally breathed a sigh of relief and spilled itself all over the counter.

My mom, who I consult regularly on design questions, didn’t think the clutter was a big deal. But the open messiness bothered me, and it looked especially bad when we had people over for dinner. So one morning — I always have a burst of energy on the weekends after my cup of espresso coffee — I attacked.

Now I am the one breathing a sigh of relief.  Here is how I did it.

Step 1: Purge and Rearrange

As you may remember, a few months ago I read the Minimalist Mom’s Guide to Baby’s First Year, which I recommend whether you’re having a baby or not. I got all energized about getting rid of clutter and extra stuff that was just bouncing around my house and not getting used much.

So I got out one bag for giveaway and one bag for trash and started ruthlessly tossing stuff like leaky sippy cups, empty wipes containers, plastic water pitchers, mini coolers, dish racks, random pots and pans, and broken appliances.

(If regret is holding you back, you might like 5 Reasons to Skip the Yard Sale and Give Away Your Extra Stuff.)

Step 2: Get the Rest Out of Sight into Drawers and Cabinets

I freed up even more space by moving less-frequently used things, like tablecloths and silver serving dishes, out of the kitchen or to high-up cabinets. A few weeks later, I realized that if I rearranged things a little more, I could end up with a few empty drawers. Shocking! And why not move all my yucky paper and unsightly clutter into those drawers?

When anyone talks about whisking important papers out of sight, the fear is: but what if I forget about it? And that brings us to Step 3.

Step 3: Instead of Physical Reminders, Use To-Do Lists

I have to fight the temptation all the time to use the object in question as a reminder to deal with it. Whether it’s a package that needs to be mailed or a form that needs to be filled out, I think that by leaving it out, I will be forced to deal with it.

But the problem with this system is that it creates a constant layer of low-level anxiety. Now that I have changed my system — clutter inside, lists outside — I feel infinitely better.

And the thing I love about lists? Stuff actually gets done. Sometimes I’m amazed at how many things I can cross off when I go back to my lists. It’s like the act of writing down cements the information in my mind, and when I have a minute, I just subconsciously know to do it.

I fully recognize that this counter is crazy-long and, I’m lucky to have so much space in the kitchen. Before we bought this house, I thought I would use an idea I loved from Better Homes and Gardens. In Hidden HQ, they show how people can use a piece of furniture like a buffet or a hutch to contain the messiness of a family’s nerve center.

But my point about all the tiny kitchens we’ve had in the past is this: no matter how much space we have, we all have things we can get rid of or put away, and spaces we can use more efficiently. Decluttering means less stress and more peace. And I wish that for all of you.

Has your January been about streamlining and clearing out too? Please tell me what you’ve been doing in the comments at the end of this post!

My uncle Phil and my friend Ashley, both savvy in business and money, have been telling me I need to get an accountant now that Frugal Mama is turning into a small business.

Signs that I needed to get my finances organized? I started making money from writing for other sites, I trademarked Frugal Mama, I was hired to host TLC’s Frugal Mama Makeover series, and I signed on with a lawyer to help me figure out my TLC contract.

My lawyer gave me one contact, but I’d like a few more to compare services and rates. My uncle tells me I also need a CPA, who specializes in taxes. Frugal me is, of course, wondering if I should just buy a book on accounting and do it myself.

One free program I have been using is Outright.com, an accounting website which I also recommended to Kara, who is starting her own dance studio, in Free Tools to Help Small Businesses (video). However, I still feel a little in the dark as to the record-keeping and tax part.

Since a lot of you probably have more experience with self-employment income than I do, can you offer any advice?

In the meantime, I thought you might be interested in these other articles I’ve been writing at Parentables:

Take These 5 Baby Steps to Get Your Finances Organized

5 Reasons to Skip the Yard Sale and Give Away Your Extra Stuff

16 Savvy Ways to Grow Your Small Business without Spending a Fortune

And please do share your thoughts on the accounting thing in the comments. Thank you!

Photo credit