This is so stereotypical of me to list goals for the new year.

My friend Jamie has always thought that New Year’s Eve seems like an artificial holiday. Changing numbers is kind-of a random thing to celebrate, but on the upside, the simple turning of the calendar does inspire hope and new plans.

As I’ve talked about in Tons of People Make this Mistake about Money: Don’t Be One of Them at Babble and here at This One Thing Will Make You Save Money and Achieve Your Dreams, writing down goals is an extremely powerful way to make change in your life.

While reading the amazing Wicked Success is Inside Every Woman by Vickie Milazzo, I was reminded of the Harvard Business School study where people who write down their goals were found to earn 10 times more than those who don’t. Even though all of my goals don’t have to do with making money, defining dreams and then writing them down is an almost surefire way of making them come true.

I’ve found that publicly announcing goals makes things happen even faster — whether you do it over coffee with a best friend or blast it on Facebook. By sharing my goals, I hope to open my life to you and to invite you to join me in pursuing your dreams and goals.

If you would like to do this exercise with me, I want you to know that the comments section of these posts are a safe place for you to list and announce your goals. I will respond to every comment with an encouraging message and a personalized, “Whoopee!”

So here I go with my first goal:

Goal #1 | Boring Yet Hot: Hit Retirement Hard

This goal gets the complicated prize for the most snoozy yet the most urgent. Thinking that everything is going to be all right is nice and optimistic, but good things usually only come true if you do something about them.

Life is uncertain. Even if Social Security checks exist 30 years from now, I am confident that they will not be enough to provide a comfortable life for me and my children.

I interviewed self-made millionaire and radio talk show host Dani Johnson recently about how she manages big-time success with a big family. Over and over in her book First Steps to Wealth, Dani says 98% of the population will end up dead or dead-broke by age 65. Basically, only 2% of the population will be financially successful. I want to be in that 2%, and I don’t think it happens by wishful thinking. And one of the keys, Dani says, is focus.

Our Problem

Enrico’s and my income has been so low since we got married, since most of the time I chose to not work and live frugally so I could raise my kids full-time. Enrico was also going through career re-training, so his income was not high. Even though I wouldn’t change a thing about our choices, one of the results is that we have very little in retirement. And that’s scary, especially considering we are both in our early 40s.

What We Need to Do

The past 11 years have been tight, but we managed to stay out of debt and we were able to successfully buy our first house this year. Now we must prioritize retirement as our next savings goal. Even though it’s tempting to spend more on improving the house — that’s the thorn in the side of my next goal — we must prioritize our long-term future.

We must also continue to enjoy life in a frugal way. We cannot let our hair down and go wild with the clothes, chandeliers, cars, or vacations. But that’s OK. We don’t deprive ourselves — we practice conscious spending — so we should be able to keep up our frugal ways and still feel like we are moving up.

What We’ve Done So Far

Reverse Budgeting (or Deduct the Max)

Enrico asked at his work the maximum amount we could deduct from his paycheck for retirement. We then increased our deduction from 10% (current) to 15% (the maximum allowed).

Automatic deductions from pay is an awesome way to save: you never see the money and you eliminate monthly decision-making. This idea is called reverse budgeting and it is great for people who don’t want to fiddle with allocating certain amounts to spending categories. Just sock away as much as you can, then let the rest work itself out. The Minimalist Mom Rachel Jonat, who I wrote about here, used reverse budgeting to get $82,000 out of debt.

Invest Even More

We called our bank and asked about Roth IRAs, a retirement plan where you can contribute up to $5,000 per year per person (if you make less than $179K). We decided that we could comfortably take $10,000 from our savings and still have enough for emergencies (a good rainy day fund contains 6 months of income).

Tip:  I discovered after a breathless call to our bank on December 23 that the deadline for contributing to Roth IRAs is April 15.

What We Will Do in 2012

Another truth about reaching goals: being as specific as possible makes the goal more powerful.

So we need to call our bank and talk to a financial adviser, or just use the retirement calculator at CNN Money, about how much exactly we need to save up for a comfortable retirement.

Once we know a dollar amount we are shooting for (which could change over time, but that’s OK), we can divide that figure by the number of years until target retirement to find out how much we need to contribute each year. (To take into consideration the power of the interest and dividends that will build over time, we can use a retirement calculator). Having such specific goals puts everything on the table: which will both energize us and ease nagging worry about the unknown.

For some fun charts on setting goals and measuring progress on saving money, see my Printables page.

Next Goal:  Making Our House into a Home

Next week in the Goals series, I’ll let you know my hopes and dreams for our house, and how we are having to readjust expectations.

How about you: can you tell me about one of your goals for this bright new year? Let me know in the comments, and I promise I will respond to everyone.

Christmas to me has started to feel “too”: too many gifts, too much stuff, too much money spent on things. Too much wrapping, too many ribbons, too much trash.

Stockings are fun, but in order to “stuff” them full, we end up with more and more stuff. Stuff that parents end up cleaning up, taking care of, trying to find places for, or eventually giving away.

To stop the avalanche of things, last year we decided to fill our children’s stockings with notes. The notes were for everyone in the family — from everyone. Once they were completed, we tucked them in the stockings and on Christmas Eve, the kids got to pass them out.

You can see a clip of me showing our notes to Sarah, in Thoughtful, Low-Cost Gift Giving Tips, the third video in the Frugal Mama Makeover Series.

Printable Family Love Notes

When I came up with the idea, I created a simple form to print out and give people:

Print a copy of the stocking notes

One evening before Christmas, we sat around the fire and filled them out together.

I was surprised at how excited my daughters were about the idea. Sofia and Virginia, who were eight and six at the time, were helping me punch holes and cut ribbon, corral everyone together, and pass out pens and pencils. And they could not wait until it was time to hand out the notes and read them.

Sow a Little, Reap a Lot

To be honest, not everyone in my family’s older generation embraced the new tradition. Telling someone how you feel requires being a little vulnerable. In a way, it’s easier to just go out and buy something.

But like so many frugal ideas, love notes stuffed in stockings are not just about saving money. They make other people feel good, which in turn makes us feel good. Handmade gifts also mean less time running around shopping, less waste and clutter, and less worry about buying enough.

At the same time, we get more. More quality time together, more connecting with family, more memories. So the bit of extra effort is rewarding, and makes us happy. Happiness is the whole point anyway, isn’t it?

How to Pass Love Notes on Christmas (or New Year’s or Any Day)

If you’d like to try it yourself, print several copies of the stocking notes.

Like the coupon books, you just fold the paper in half, then half again, and cut down the folds. We closed each note with a hole punch and a tiny ribbon, but the notes could just as easily be stapled.

On this holiday and always, I am wishing you love, simplicity, and peace.

“You know that coupon book you gave to Virginia?” my seven-year-old daughter asked one Christmas, staring at me seriously as if a lawyer in a courtroom.  “That’s pretty cool.”

Thankfully I had made one for her, and it would be ready for her eighth birthday in a few months.

Do you remember favor tickets from your childhood? I was re-introduced to the idea by the Center for a New American Dream, an organization that is redefining the American dream towards “what really matters: creating a meaningful life, contributing to community and society, valuing nature, and spending time with family and friends.”

When I was reading more about the New Dream’s ideas for simplifying and de-commercializing the holidays, I was intrigued that the most memorable family gifts for psychologist Tim Kasser, author of the book and video The High Price of Materialism, are coupons for favors.

Kasser says:

On Christmas Eve, my wife and I sit down and make little colored pencil drawings on slips of paper as coupon gifts for our two sons.

Some coupons let them skip their fruit or vegetable at dinner but still get dessert, some let them stay up 15 minutes past their regular bedtime, some let them not have to pick up their mess after they’ve been playing, and some make it so my wife or I stop what we are doing and read them a book or play a game of their choice.

For their birthdays, I also give each boy a “Fun Day with Dad” coupon, where each gets to plan a whole day of activities.

Now our boys sometimes give us coupons for presents too – my wife and I have received coupons for back massages, taking out the compost, and even “no bickering for the whole day.

Handmade favor tickets are free yet meaningful, and my daughters liked them so much that I recommended the idea to Sarah (a participant in the Frugal Mama Makeover Series) who was looking for ways to keep Christmas fun for the kids without getting more into debt. (You can see the before and after videos at Discovery’s HowStuffWorks Videos.)

Make This Coupon Book in 1/2 Hour

This printable ticket book is so simple that it requires no measuring and minimal cutting. And you don’t have to have a paper-cutter (that’s just me being obsessive).

Supplies

• Printer
• 8.5″ x 11″ paper
• Scissors
• Stapler (or ribbon — see below)

Optional Supplies

• paper cutter (for super straight lines)
• hole-puncher
• ribbon

Step-by-Step Instructions

Print one copy of the coupon book cover.

(I used card stock for the cover by feeding it into the manual slot of our old laser printer, and our new printer takes card stock right in the paper tray. Regular copy paper is fine too.)

Print the book pages. There are 4 per page, so if you print 10 pages, you’ll get 40 coupons.

As you can see, I printed my pages on a different colored paper, because I had it lying around, but white looks crisp and clean.

Fold the cover page in half, then in half again, so you have 4 equal sections.

Cut the cover into equal fourths by cutting along the folds. Either with a paper-cutter or with scissors.

Now for the coupons themselves. Fold them in half and then half again, just like the cover, so you get 4 coupons per sheet.

Cut them into four tickets by cutting along the folded lines, either with a paper-cutter or with scissors.

Now you should have a front and a back cover, plus a stack of coupons.

Stack the front and back covers with the pages together like a book, making sure all the coupons are facing the right direction.

Either staple them together, or punch two holes in one end with a hole-puncher.

If you use the hole-punch method, you can tie them together with a short length of ribbon. (I used ribbon recycled from birthday presents.)

Feed the ribbon from the top to the bottom and then up to the top again, so you can tie the bow in the front.

Write who the book is for, and who it’s from. (Coloring in the title with colored pencil was kind-of fun, but I’m not sure it made it look any better.)

Fill in each ticket. I love writing with a thin Sharpie.

And voila’!

See my Printables page for more fun free stuff to print out.

So what else did I give my kids besides staying up later? Here are some of our past favors, but the privileges that your kids would want (and that you are willing to grant them) will probably be different.

• 1/2 hour of one-on-one time with Dad (or Mom)
• watching a movie together this weekend
• choosing what’s for dinner tonight
• a playdate this week
• skipping a chore this weekend
• an extra story tonight

Just like Tim Kasser, I too have gotten some amazing coupons from my kids on Mother’s Day, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. The tickets are good for hairdos, foot massages, nail treatments, breakfast in bed, or “anything you want me to do for you when you’re stressed and tired.”

I love that my kids know that I value their creative, self-invested gifts much more than the impersonal store-bought ones that they could afford with their allowance money. I’ll trade clutter for quality time with my kids any day.

Make extra of this hot chocolate, because you’ll want to keep some luxury for yourself.

I looked a long time to find the perfect recipe. I wanted one that would be complex-tasting yet simple to make. Plus I wanted one that was deep and chocolatey, not sweet and cloying.

I’m happy to say that Alton Brown’s hot cocoa recipe is it. It’s instant: no whisking and no burning milk in a pan. It’s rich but it’s not heavy. And most importantly, it’s like drinking warm European chocolate. When are you not in the mood for that?

Gourmet Hot Chocolate Recipe

Here is Alton Brown’s Hot Cocoa Recipe, without the cayenne pepper.

If you prize chocolate, you’ll want your mix to be made with the best-tasting cocoa powder. Dutch-processed cocoa is going to give you the strongest chocolate taste without acidity or bitterness. Among the dutch-processed cocoa powders, the Belgian brand Callebaut got the highest mark in a Cook’s Illustrated blind taste test, so that’s the one I have used, and it is exquisite.

However, at $30-35 per 2.2 lb. bag (or $1 per ounce), it is pricey.  Cook’s Illustrated also did a taste test of supermarket cocoa powder, and two Hershey’s varieties were in the top three.  The tasters rated Hershey’s Natural Unsweetened Cocoa number one for it’s “assertive” chocolate flavor, and Hershey’s Special Dark Cocoa in third.  (Droste, an imported Dutched cocoa, came in second for its “round,” “bold” flavor and “depth,” but like Callebaut, it’s more of a splurge.)

Makes 5 1/2 cups of dry mix

• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1 cup cocoa powder, preferably Dutch-processed
• 2 1/2 cups powdered non-fat milk  (NOT whole milk, which tends to lump)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons cornstarch

Fill mug halfway with mix. Pour in hot water. Mix well.

(It might sound like a lot of mix, but remember that the largest ingredient is powdered milk.)

How to Make a Big Batch for Giving

The above recipe only makes enough for about one family, so I figured out how to make a ton so that we could give it away to friends, relatives, and teachers.

Since the cocoa powder is the most expensive and perishable ingredient (it should be used within several months or it loses flavor), it makes sense to buy the other ingredients based on how much you can get out of a bag of cocoa.

There are 8 cups of cocoa powder in a 2.2 lb. (1 kilo) bag of Callebaut. To make a batch of hot chocolate using the whole bag, you’ll need 16 cups of powdered sugar, and 20 cups of powdered milk. That should make a total of 44 cups of hot chocolate mix and about 11 gift cans (if you use 10 oz. coffee cans which hold about 4 cups each). So here is my recommendation for what to buy:

Shopping List (for a Big Batch)

• One 2.2 lb. bag of Callebaut cocoa powder (see above if you want to try a different brand)
• Two 2 lb. bags of powdered sugar
• One 1 lb. bag or box of powdered sugar (you’ll have some left over)
• 4 lbs. of fresh, non-expired powdered non-fat milk (stale powdered milk tends to lump)
• cornstarch
• salt

As you can see from the photo, this year I doubled my big batch and bought 2 bags of cocoa powder. I’m psyched to have all the hot chocolate to give away, but it is quite a messy operation to mix it all up. This year, I scrubbed clean a plastic bin that used to house Christmas decor and used it to stir up the mix, which was better than having to do several batches in a large bowl.

Big Batch Recipe of Gourmet Hot Chocolate

Makes 44 cups of mix (about 10 cans of hot chocolate)

• One 2.2 lb. bag of Callebaut cocoa powder
• Two 2 lb. bags plus 2 cups of powdered sugar
• 20 cups of powdered milk
• 8 teaspoons of salt
• 16 teaspoons of cornstarch

Mix together in a very large container (or new trash bag), making sure that all the ingredients are incorporated by scraping the bottoms and sides. Spoon into containers and label with directions and ingredients (see below).

Packaging the Hot Chocolate Mix

I love drinking espresso at home, so I’ve been saving coffee cans since last Christmas when we first made hot chocolate gifts. (Read here about why I love Bustelo Cuban espresso.)

We covered the cans with paper bags.

Every brand has a slightly different can size, so you’ll need to measure from top to bottom and around the middle. Bustelo requires a 5 3/8″ x 13″ rectangle to cover the can, which we simply attached with school glue.

Measuring trick: if you don’t have a tape measure, wrap a ribbon or towel around the object to be measured, mark the end point, and then lay the fabric against a ruler.

We then wrote “Hot Chocolate” on a 4-inch doily and glued it on the front and top using regular school glue.

Then I noticed that I could just pull off the Bustelo label and get a plain silver can. So I saved time and effort by just attaching the labels to the aluminum can. And I think they look just about as good. Has anyone coined the term frilly-industrial?

Printable Labels for Ingredients and Directions

Here is a PDF you can download and use to print labels for the hot chocolate. I only did the ingredients and directions because I thought handwriting the “Hot Chocolate” looked more homey.

Download the ingredients and directions label for hot chocolate

These go perfectly with Avery shipping labels #18163 (available in 10-sheet packs).

And that’s about it! The hot cocoa mix is not hard to make — you can mix up a big batch and package it all simply in one afternoon. And don’t forget to save some for yourself — I’m sure you deserve it.

I‘m thrilled to show you the brand-new Frugal Mama Makeover video series!

 

Thanks to generous support from Bank of America, our sponsor, the short videos look like mini-TV shows.

Snapshot of the Production Process

After choosing six participants who responded to a TLC casting call, we visited them in their homes (all in the DC, Maryland, and Virginia area). We listened to each person’s money struggles, and then I helped figure out a plan of action. Three to four weeks later, they sent us a video update on their progress. We filmed the talking points in my kitchen, and then the producers at Discovery worked their magic and wrapped it all up in a pretty package.

The first video about a woman named Nichole, who is expecting a new baby and needs to find money for daycare, has already been viewed over 70,000 times and has been featured by TV Guide.

Six Women, Six Stories

Meeting the participants, who opened up their lives and shared their money concerns with me, was the most rewarding part of this project. The solutions we came up with may seem simple, but as you and I know, saving money is not always easy.

The good thing is that sometimes the most difficult part is taking the time to sit down, looking at whatever we think is scary or daunting, and committing to make changes.

In these six stories, you’ll meet:

• Nichole, a newly expecting mom who is facing a huge jump in childcare costs,
• Angie, who wants to renovate her house without dipping into savings,
• Sarah, who would like to celebrate Christmas without stressing about money, and
• Noila, who feels like she should be spending less on groceries but is frustrated by coupons.

Coming up next week will be:

• Kara, who needs low-cost ways to get her dance studio off the ground, and
• Amy, who would like to spend less on gas and more on other things, like a trip to Disney.

A Lot More to Tell

Only a fraction of the story was portrayed in each three- to four-minute video, so over the next few weeks I’m going to be sharing a little more about each participant and the ideas we discussed.

And because I’ve been in touch with the participants, I know that a lot has happened since they sent in their home videos. So next month I’m going to be posting updates on their progress.

Until then, you can see the first four videos in the series, as well as articles full of more tips and ideas on saving money, at the Dollars & Sense Guide in the Shows section of TLC.com.

If you think the webisodes are helpful or entertaining, please share them with all of your friends!

A Big Huge Thank You

Finally I want to thank the good people at TLC, Discovery, and Bank of America for having faith in me. The series has been exciting and glamorous at times, but mostly it’s been an incredible amount of work, so I also want to thank my family for putting up with me. It’s not over yet — but thank you for packing your own lunches, for playing together nicely (most of the time), and for letting the house be good-enough.

And last but not least, thank you dear readers for all your support over the years. Dreams do come true!

Now watch the Frugal Mama Makeover series and let me know what you think!

I make the same Christmas cookies every year.

We discovered our favorite recipe a few years ago at a cookie exchange in New York City. This super-fast recipe for chocolate-covered toffee satisfies all my cravings for butterscotch and chocolate, sweet and salty, crunchy and creamy.

The kids love the chance to sprinkle on colorful nonpareils. In fact, we all think they’re so delicious, it’s hard to give them away (the reason we make them in the first place).

So why complicate things by trying a new recipe each year?

 

One day I can imagine getting a kick out of making dozens of batches of different cookies (like my friend, Nancy, who believes that holiday rituals are a great way to downplay gifts). But right now, I’m just trying to survive. With Christmas cookies. So I’m sticking with this simple tradition.

Here’s the step-by-step and short version of our recipe. (I swear, they take less than 15 minutes to make.)

 

Do you have an easy Christmas cookie recipe that is your go-to favorite?

I took a long slow walk in the rain after reading Rachel Jonat’s new e-book, The Minimalist Mom’s Guide to Baby’s First Year: How to Save Time, Money and Space. I wanted the ideas to sink in.

Even though I had contributed a chapter (“The Only Three Things You Need to Get Your Baby to Sleep (and One is Free)”) to the book, I had never read about what minimalism really looked like for a family.

A Story of Overconsuming to Pared-Down Peace

When Rachel was pregnant with her first child, she bought every piece of gear, nursery decoration, and bundle of clothing that we are made to feel are necessary. She was stressed from work, her husband was traveling a lot, and she tried to make herself feel better by buying more and more stuff.

After finding herself in big-time debt, Rachel and her husband decided to get rid of half of their belongings, including their car. By stopping the buying cycle, they paid off $82,000 worth of debt in less than two years, cleared out lots of time once spent cleaning and organizing and maintaining, and have reclaimed a new sense of serenity.

This book really struck a chord in me because here we were with a big old house, but it was a lot to take care of, and there was so much to do to make it a real home for us.

My Clutter Problem: The Basement was Just the Beginning

For one thing, the basement was becoming the catch-all for storage boxes, bags of clothes to give away, furniture we weren’t using, outgrown toys, and random household stuff that worked in another house, but not this one.

Every time I walked by all those jumbles of stuff on my way to the laundry room, I felt anxious. I wanted to be able to sort, organize, and either sell it or give it away to various causes. But given that I now have less time than money, every time I walked by those boxes and bags and piles of unused stuff, I felt more overwhelmed.

And to add urgency to the matter, my kids had been begging us for weeks to set up the TV down there so they could watch the Lion King and other favorite movies.

So the weekend after reading The Minimalist Mom’s Guide to Baby’s First Year, I went on a kind of minimalist rampage. In literally one hour, I had packed our car with household junk and bags of clothing, DVDs, small furniture, and toys for Goodwill. I didn’t worry about money wasted. As Rachel pointed out, the money is already gone.

Sometimes Just One Will Do

Fueled by the easy success I’d found in the basement, I attacked the kitchen. After reading that Rachel only has one bib and one sippy cup for her son, I looked in my drawer in found over 20 bibs. Most of them stained, ripped, too small, or never used. I tossed most of them.

Then I looked into other drawers. Random parts, top-less containers, and cloudy plastic cups all went into the trash or the recycling. While I didn’t have the heart to give away a bunch of old tablecloths my mom had given me, I stored them up high and created a few empty spaces where we needed them.

In the always topsy-turvy library/playroom, I gave away kids’ books we never look at, and I threw away board games with missing parts, broken toys, and stale craft projects. I even created enough space to store our coats, boots, hats and mittens. I used to think I had to buy a big expensive piece of entry furniture. By clearing out stuff we hardly used, I realized we had plenty of space.

These are Not Clutter Solutions

Bins, baskets, and labels are not clutter solutions, Rachel points out. How true! More furniture and organizers just mask the chaos, but it’s still there, and it’s still creating anxiety, guilt, and stress.

After clearing out the basement and feeling a huge sense of relief, my husband and I lugged down a couch, a rug, and a table. We hooked up the TV and some cozy lamps. That very evening my kids were curled up watching a movie together. In just a couple of hours I had created space for my family, relieved a ball of stress, and realized the huge payoffs of streamlining.

Everyone wants more money, time, and space, as Rachel points out. Getting rid of stuff — and slowing down the buying cycle — can give us all of these things. I am so grateful for the way this book has helped me let go and move on with my life. (And I’m proof that it’s not just for new moms.)

Because I think you will love this book too, I am helping Rachel spread the word. If you buy a copy ($9.95) through the links you find in this post, half of the funds go to Frugal Mama.

How I Am Not Minimalist

There are many things about my life that are not minimalist.

This is not minimalist.

These guys are not minimalist.

And even though we bought them used with cash, neither are these.

What I Can Do

But here is what I am doing to keep life as simple as possible, so I can enjoy the time I have on this earth:

• I did not take home one item of schwag at the Marketing 2 Moms conference in Chicago where I was a panelist. All those goodies are free, but do I really want them?
• As much as I long to, I am not ordering any more flimsy books from those nostalgic Scholastic flyers that come home in my kids’ backpacks.
• Every time I see a toy that is irrevocably broken or missing its parts, I toss it.
• I make cash donations to the elementary school, instead of buying overpriced yet cheap gifts and wrapping paper from the fundraising catalog.
• When we needed a new printer, I researched product reviews and ratings first. “Buy it once,” says Rayna of The Suburban Minimalist.
• When I realize that a piece of clothing bugs me or that I hardly ever wear it, it goes in a bag marked Salvation Army.
• I just say “no” when my daughter pleads for a pet. Guinea pig, kitten, crayfish, or worm, we don’t need more to take care of and clean up after.
• I avoided Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Sales make me want to buy things I don’t need. When I figure out exactly what I need or what I want to give, I’ll go looking for the deals.
• Just because something is “good” (read: expensive, nostalgic, pretty, high-quality, fun), doesn’t mean that I need to house it. If we’re just not using it, then someone else should have the pleasure.

You don’t have to be expecting a baby to get a lot of mileage out of The Minimalist Mom and her Guide to Baby’s First Year. It’s hard to keep our lives from being crowded with more and more stuff. It’s a constant battle, believe me, to keep the waves of stuff from washing in.

But there are plenty of things we can do. And the most powerful thing is to be able to say, I have enough.

We have been hosting Thanksgiving for a while now. Enrico’s family in Italy doesn’t celebrate the holiday, and my parents are far away in Ohio. Since we often make the trek to our family farm for Christmas, Thanksgiving is usually spent on our own or with friends.

I’ve been making the whole menu for ten or so years, and last night, as the girls and I were making the cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and stuffing, I was thinking how doing Thanksgiving was totally not intimidating anymore. Sure, part of it is practice, but here are some other ways we keep it sane.

Stick to the Tried and True

We don’t try new-fangled recipes. We make our family’s traditional dishes every year.

Since we don’t eat the stuff but once a year, it’s not like anyone gets sick of it. And the kids really look forward to the same tastes and smells.

Make it Early

Just about everything, besides the turkey, can be made ahead of time. Cranberry sauce can be stored in the fridge for days, as well as some of the more labor-intensive dishes like stuffing. Last night, Sofia and I completed all but the last step of the mashed potato recipe.

Sometimes I’ll even make the pie filling ahead, then just pour it into the pie shells the day of.

Don’t Deep-Fry the Turkey

When I started out doing Thanksgiving, the turkey was the thing that instilled the most fear. When you have guests, timing can be sometimes a little tricky (nothing that isn’t solved with some wine and music, though).

I looked at all sorts of cookbooks and consulted turkey gurus, but now I just cook the bird according to the package directions. This morning I didn’t even turn the turkey, and I barely even basted it, and it came out just the same!

Same simple cooking method goes for the cranberry sauce: we love the whole berry recipe on the back of the Ocean Spray package, and it couldn’t be easier.

Take Shortcuts

“If you can buy something that tastes homemade, go for it,” says cooking teacher and friend, Shirley Tenhover, who recommends the ready-made Bob Evans mashed potatoes.

If you are hosting Thanksgiving, I agree that you should feel completely justified in giving yourself a break. In years’ past, I’ve used those store-bought mashed potatoes or steam-and-serve green beans. And the roll-and-bake pie crusts are just as good as anything I could make.

Fresh Turkey-Juice Gravy is Overrated

I have come to the conclusion that making the gravy from pan drippings and the just-right combo of flour thickener and broth, while everyone is waiting and the turkey is getting cold, adds a level of stress that is not worth the taste pay-off.

One year I tried to avoid the heat-of-the-moment marathon by making gravy ahead of time. The New York Times’ recipe, which went on and on about how a good gravy enriches the entire meal, required buying separate turkey parts and making home-made broth in a two-day process. When it came time to finally serve the meal, nobody even said a word about the gravy.

This year I just poured store-bought gravy into a ceramic pitcher and it was delicious.

Skip the Veggies

What? Yes, it’s true. Besides a bowl of crunchy raw celery, we don’t bother most times with a cooked vegetable dish. Green veggies are not the real stars of the Thanksgiving show, so why try to crowd the stage?

Focus.

It is usually the key element missing in our efforts to save money and build wealth.

Do you know what you want out of life? Do you how much you need to get there? If we just have iffy ideas about what we want, then our success will also be iffy.

The Power of Having a Target

I am a big believer in setting goals. It seems so simple, but figuring out what we want is often the hardest part. Believe me, I’ve spent most of my life not really knowing. I knew I loved a lot of things, and I knew I didn’t like a lot of things. But that just meant that I was wandering around dabbling, or running away.

Then I decided to decide. Instead of trying to keep all my options open, I zeroed in on one thing I wanted — to be a successful writer who is paid for her work. Once I wrote down that goal and started telling people about it, things started happening. It was like magic, but the beauty is — it was not magic. Anyone can do it.

I created this chart you see, together with graphic designer Vickie Spindler, to give people a way to concretize their needs, wants, and dreams. I believe that a key to saving and making money is knowing your why.

You can download the Life Goals pdf form (also on my Printables page) and print it out for free.

What Do You Want?

Do you want to get out of debt, move to a bigger house, save money so you aren’t cutting it so close? Do you want to get a master’s degree, stay home with your kids, take a year off and travel?

The act of writing down goals means that we are focused, committed, and brave enough to get our dreams out of our heads and into the real world.

Picture this. You want to run ten miles but you have no map, no pedometer, no finish line. How will you know when you’ve reached your goal? Will you ever reach your goal? Chances are, you’ll get tired or discouraged about halfway there, you’ll stop and look around, maybe get a snack and sit down, and you’ll say, “Well, I guess this is good enough.”

Defining a goal or a specific vision — like your ideal scene in five years —  is essential.

And because success leads to success, we have to take that first step. To be decisive. To find a vision.

Even if your vision is seemingly selfish, says Dani Johnson in her book First Steps to Wealth, a vision is better than no vision.

Get Started, Then if Necessary, Regroup

Sometimes getting on that road will lead you in directions you hadn’t imagined. You may need to stop and refocus. You may need to regain your footing and decide on new goals.

My vision and my first steps into success are leading me into places that I never imagined.

Writing about saving money for TLC’s Parentables — my first paid writing gig — is leading to hosting the Frugal Mama Makeover series for TLC.com. (The series is launching today — see the first video here!)

I’ve gone through growing pains in the past few months, and it’s been an emotional roller coaster. But I am now stepping off the ride, smoothing down my hair, and saying, “Wow, that was scary, but that was fun. Let’s do it again!”

Don’t Worry About Wasted Time

Here’s more food for thought. Everything you have done in your life before now has taught you something.

That truth will become clear when you set your mind to a goal. Because once we focus on a target and start taking action, things start to fall into place.

I realized, for example, that all that time I frittered away during my 20s and 30s was not wasted at all:

• teaching English in Italy fired up my love of nurturing and guiding,
• acting in high school made me feel a little more comfortable behind a camera,
• flirting with a career in social work made me realize that I love helping people,
• working as a temp secretary reinforced my love of organizing and filling in forms,
• taking care of my kids full-time taught me a million things, including how to live well on a single salary,
• studying grad courses in cultural anthropology helped me understand how our society affects the way we behave with money and spending,

and I could go on and on. I’m seeing how it’s all fitting together. It wasn’t all lost time. It wasn’t worth all the guilt and angst I piled upon myself.

Millionaires Have Yearly Family Meetings

People who are successful — very successful with money — are known to sit down at least once a year and talk about finances, according to High Net Worth Linked to How You Manage Your Money (an article I found via Get Rich Slowly).

You’ve probably already heard the statistic that people who write down their goals earn 80% more than people who don’t, which I first read in Buttoned Up‘s fantastic book Pretty Neat.

All the gurus who talk about the basic principles behind success emphasize the law of vision and focus.

Need more evidence? Try it for yourself and see it come true in your own life.

Now You: Your Homework

Here is my homework for you — should you choose to accept it:

Pen in a date night with your honey. Or call a family meeting. Make it fun with candles, music, bon-bons, or a grand finale movie.

Bring my Life Goals chart, or simply a sheet of paper, and start talking about and writing down what is important to you both. Extra credit: rank the goals in order of priority, figure out how much each one will cost, and how you will get there.

List all sorts of goals like sailing off to your dream vacation, taking time off work, changing careers, moving to a new place, starting a home business, rocking your retirement fund, taking care of your children’s education, donating to a cause you believe in, or simply getting control of your finances.

It’s all possible. But only if we decide and focus.