The only problem with these lollipops is that they look so dang good that people think you just went out and bought them. So if you want to get credit for your efforts, I suggest either bragging shamelessly, writing “Made by Me” on the packaging, or making them kinda sloppily.

When my daughter was turning 5, we made these together (with her 4-year-old sister) for a Valentine-themed birthday party. We had a lovely time: the recipe is no-nonsense and the only non-supermarket ingredients are the lollipop sticks, which we found at a craft store. (Popsicle sticks could be substituted but wouldn’t be quite as elegant.)

Chocolate-Covered Lollipops

(adapted from Parents magazine)

Makes 16 pops

• 15 caramel squares
• 32 vanilla wafers
• 16 lollipop sticks
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• sprinkles

1. Unwrap caramels and melt them in the microwave according to the package instructions.

2. While the caramel is still warm, quickly spoon small dollops onto the 16 wafers.

3. Place a lollipop stick in the center of the caramel dollop, and top with another wafer to make a cookie sandwich.

4. Melt chocolate chips according to package instructions. (We used the microwave.) Dunk each cookie sandwich and allow the excess to drip away.

5. Decorate lollipops with sprinkles and set to dry on a wax-paper-lined cookie sheet.

6. Chill for 5 to 10 minutes or until firm.

Since we used these as party favors, we slipped the cooled pops into cellophane treat bags (also available at craft stores) and tied them with thin red ribbon.

For goodie bags, my daughter personalized paper lunch bags with crayon hearts. Children used them to carry home the Valentine’s cards they created at the party and a couple of lollipops, which they picked from a bowl before leaving.

Top photo credit: Parents.com

I confess that my daughter, Sofia’s, favorite food is Cheetos. This is a difficult disclosure for me, since I spend a lot of time and energy (and, why not, love because I actually enjoy) cooking meals for our family. I cook every night of the week (we usually go out once a weekend), make breakfast in the morning, and pack lunches for everyone (as well as snacks for after-school).  Yet, in fear of being extreme, I do occasionally allow her to eat junky stuff, at at party or on a road trip, just for the heck of it.

What’s On Your Plate?

My 7-year-old Cheeto-loving mini-rebel is the reason I was interested in seeing the documentary film, What’s on Your Plate?, which is premiering on the Discovery Channel’s Planet Green. The film chronicles two eleven-year-olds investigating where their food comes from, how it’s made, and how it got there.

It struck a chord when the film’s director, Catherine Gund, said she was inspired to create the film when her daughter, Sadie (rarely exposed to junk food, like mine, and with hereditary cholesterol issues) was entering middle school and would be free to choose her own food at lunch and after-school. She wanted her daughter to have the knowledge to back up her own choices.

I met the director and the two young stars, Sadie and Safiyah, at a lunch organized by the Discovery Channel this week at Candle 79, a delicious organic and vegan restaurant on New York’s Upper East Side. (It was an extra treat to also be able to meet No Impact Man, Colin Beavan, whose book is on my To Read list.)

Eating Well is a Family Project

What’s on Your Plate? is meant to be watched by children and adults together. The idea is that a family’s attitudes about food will not be changed by one person — whether it’s top-down (a mother enforcing healthier food) or bottom-up (a child declaring he wants the household to go vegetarian).

While the film will probably largely go over the heads of children under 7 (my first-grader was a little fidgety), I liked the idea of starting a conversation about food and health with my kids. The movie’s curious pre-teens interview everyone from parents suffering from diabetes to food experts to a Mexican family farming rented land outside of New York City.  They inspired us to talk about what caused my daughters’ grandmother to have a heart attack, and what exactly are Funyuns?

The film treats a wide-ranging array of food issues, but here are just a few ideas I took away from my experience with the film and conversations with its creators.

Tips and Ideas for Eating Better (and Saving Money)

• A thousand conversations. Maybe talking about food and health with kids should be treated in the same way some child development experts advise we talk about sex:   instead of one big “Talk,” why not have a thousand tiny dialogues interwoven in daily life?
• How do you feel? Ask children to consider not only what fast food is made of, but how it makes them feel after eating it.
• Home-made junk food. If your kids beg for fast food, Sadie suggests using one of Michael Pollan‘s Food Rules from his new book:   you can eat as much junk food (french fries, cookies, pizza) as you like, as long as you make it yourself.  (Parenting magazine Babble recently published 6 of Pollan’s Rules.)
• The luxury of fresh fruit. A bag of Ripples costs less than a quart of strawberries. Is this partly the reason why obesity often coincides with poverty?
• Cheap at what cost? Cheap food is never truly cheap:  the chemicals, packaging and factories needed to make it cost us both our health and the environment.
• Fight the good fight. It can take effort to combat the temptation to buy what’s cheap, easy and instantly satisfying.  Corporations in our capitalist system tend towards bigger and bigger in the drive to sell more products at the lowest production cost.  In order to buy small, local and fresh, we are often working against forces greater than we are.
• Organic farming is a tough business. We can support farmers (instead of factories) by patronizing green markets and participating in community-supported agriculture programs (CSA), where you pay a farm up front to receive a share of the goods at harvest time, delivered to your neighborhood.  To find a CSA near you, check out Local Harvest.
• Small changes do matter. Here is a list of a few more things you can do to help our country eat better.
• Growing stuff is fun. The hands-on, sensory aspect of farming is appealing to children and adults alike:  in the words of my daughter, Sofia, “It would be cool to see how all the plants looked like and it would be cool to dig them out of the ground and find them.”
• Being frugal and healthy are sometimes at odds: it’s OK to spend more money on things that will improve your overall well-being.  The more we put our money where our values are, the more we help those things flourish.
• Cooking is a big win-win. Cooking is one of my favorite solutions in the Frugal Mama quest to save money and make life better.  Restaurant food can cost 10 times as much as home-cooked food and is often treated with all sorts of hidden chemicals and processes.
• More advantages of eating at home: you can relax, eat in your pajamas or lie down afterwards, you fill your home with delicious smells, you don’t have to entertain your kids while you’re waiting for the food or be mortified if they ruin the place, your children learn home cooking values and skills (even just watching you), kids can learn to contribute to the family unit by taking on responsibilities like setting the table, clearing the plates, and sweeping up afterwards.  Can you think of more?

And you know what, it does make a difference that I’m feeding my children well. These food habits and taste preferences will last a lifetime — even if they may occasionally gorge themselves on Doritos at a party. They’ll eventually crave a crunchy green pepper — like Safiyah, who is convinced that the reason she’ll eat anything is because her mom didn’t feed her any sugar until she was one.

Home cooking may be one of the biggest win-wins, but my daughter put her finger on an equally important one after seeing the movie:  “It would be really cool to plant things, because then we would have free food.”

In this series of posts, I will guide you through the process of starting your own co-op, showing you some of the various ways babysitting co-ops can be organized and providing you with some guidelines and documents to get your group off the ground.

I have both founded and participated in various forms of babysitting co-ops, have very rarely paid for childcare, and have made trusting connections with great families.  This how-to series is my gift back to the community, sharing what I’ve learned and the resources we used to make our groups run smoothly.

Let’s start at the beginning.

What is a Babysitting Co-op?

A babysitting co-op is a group of parents who agree to exchange babysitting time.  Most co-ops work on some kind of point system:  you earn points when you watch someone else’s kid, and you spend points when someone watches yours.

Unlike a one-on-one babysitting swap, members are not obligated to make an even exchange with a particular member.  Parents may fulfill and request sits according to their own schedule with anyone in the group.  For daytime sits, children are usually brought to the sitter’s house, and at night, the sitter usually comes to the child’s house.

A babysitting co-op works best when built within an existing community:  a tight-knit neighborhood or a church group, a school, apartment building, or mom’s group.  Many people love the idea of having trusted adults watching their children.

A babysitting co-op can work beautifully, especially when several families are committed to being involved.  The trade-off to free childcare is that you, of course, must be willing to provide free childcare for someone else.  That can mean having extra kids in your house, or being away from your own family on a Saturday night.

However, watching other kids is often less of a burden than it might seem:  at-home moms can transform daytime sits into a playdate; nighttime sits can be a chance to catch up on reading or movie-watching.  Plus, trusting others with your children can really bring a community together:  fostering friendships and a feeling of belonging.

The first step in creating your own co-op is defining your group.

Define the Boundaries of Your Group

Babysitting exchanges work best within a community where some level of trust has already been established. Will your co-op be part of your mom’s group, your place of worship, school, sports team, or apartment building?  Neighborhood-based co-ops are most successful when the area is cohesive, perhaps bound together by a home-owners association or historic designation.

Another option would be to start a co-op with your circle of friends. However, friends sometimes don’t feel as comfortable with the formality of a structured co-op and might be better off arranging babysitting swaps.

Here is another version of an informal babysitting swap:  babysitting parties. In this scenario, one family hosts all the children in the group (for a movies and popcorn party or similar) while the rest of the parents get to go out.

Families rotate being hosts one or two Saturdays a month or every weekend.  This set-up works best when families have children of similar ages, as infants can require more attention than is possible with bigger groups.

Find a Founding Partner

Even if you feel you can do all the work yourself, there are a lot of decisions involved in setting up a new group.  Consider asking someone to help you who seems equally as enthusiastic about the idea.  It’s easier and more fun to work with a friend, and she can help toss around ideas and provide moral support if issues arise.

Who Can Join?

Can anyone within your umbrella group or geographical area join?  Will you require an application or references?  Some groups limit membership to friends of current members.

My last co-op was open to anyone in our tight-knit neighborhood.  The coordinators would visit with the prospective member at his or her home, go over the rules, and answer any questions. Application forms asked for contact information as well as two references. The home visit also provided an opportunity to make sure the applicant’s house was clean and safe. (See a copy of the application in part 3 of this series.)

Some co-ops set a cap on the number of families that can join:  I’ve seen limits anywhere from 20 to 45 families.  However, it might be easier to see how things go, and if the group should reach saturation, suspend accepting new members for a while.

Pick a Name for Your Group

Depending on the base for your group (neighborhood, playgroup, preschool, etc.), you could just add the words “Babysitting Co-op” or “Babysitting Exchange” to the end, and you’re done.  For example, “The Jamesville Methodist Church Babysitting Co-op,” or the “Dorset Road Babysitting Exchange.”

Decide How You Will Track Points

There are probably as many ways to record and trade babysitting credits as there are shades of pink.  Here are just a few.

Talk with your co-founder about which method seems right for you. Alternatively, present the various options to interested families at your first meeting.  You could go with a simple majority vote or a consensus vote, where everyone must agree before you go forward.

Cards and Timekeepers

The neighborhood-based babysitting co-op I was involved with uses colored index-sized cards (yellow for one hour, blue for a quarter hour).  Each card is stamped with the name of the group.

The group is led by two rotating coordinators who assign secretary duties to a different member every two weeks.  The secretary is responsible for keeping track of each member’s card count and filling sit requests. (Card counts were more relevant when this co-op used the phone to fill sits, as the secretary would begin by calling the people with the lowest counts first.)

In part three of this series, you can download the card count form that this co-op uses.  The two-page form is printed on card stock and placed back-to-back in a sheet protector and filed in the secretary’s binder.  The secretary keeps tabs on everyone’s current card counts by emailing members and filling in the forms before she passes off the binder to the next secretary.

Web Service

The parent association babysitting co-op I’m in uses a service called BabysitterExchange.com (although there are many others).  The advantage of an automated system is that all points and sit requests are managed by the service in a clean and mathematical way with very minimal paperwork required.  Our umbrella organization picks up the annual fee, but other groups could charge dues to spread out the cost.

The disadvantage of a tech-based system is that it removes the human element and tends to reduce response rates.

Do-It-Yourself Coupons

A preschool-based group I participated in uses carnival tickets (available at office supply stores).  Each “coupon” is worth 30 minutes of babysitting time.  Tickets can be ripped in half if necessary.

This group does not keep track of members’ points.  The coordinator takes care of registration paperwork, sending out coupons to new members, and assigning hosts for their monthly playdates.  Otherwise, all communication and details regarding sits are arranged by members themselves via a Yahoo email group.

Online Spreadsheet

Another method for tracking points is to create a chart in a free document sharing service.  While this requires some computer savvy, no one has to pass out cards or pay a service.  Use the honor system and let everyone update their points themselves after a sit is completed, or ask someone to act as timekeeper and require members to go through him to update their hours.

Here is a sample spreadsheet used by a small babysitting co-op in Vermont.  This group is comprised of four families who are friends and live on the same road.  As you can see, they are quite active and are able to fulfill most of their sitting needs within the group.

When a sit has been completed, the sitter goes into the spreadsheet and logs hours in her “earn” column (and the same amount in the host’s “use” column).  Each family’s total points are then automatically calculated (the spreadsheet has some built-in formulas).  They also have a column for notes, where sitters jot down a little something about what they did together, contributing to the sense of familiarity in the group.

If you would like to copy this spreadsheet for your group, simply click File, once you are in the spreadsheet, and then Download As.

How Much are Points Worth?

Like methods for tracking points, options for deciding the value of points are all over the map.

The circle-of-friends co-op using the online spreadsheet starts out new members at zero.  Members pay 1 point per sleeping child and 2 points per awake child per hour.  If a member has -80 points, the rule is they need to sit more.  If they have 80 or more points, they need to get out more!

The neighborhood co-op starts new members with 15 hours of cards which are good no matter how many children the family has and whether the children are sleeping or not. However, they do charge double time at dinnertime (between the hours of 5:30 and 7 pm) and after 12:30 pm. The sitter also earns a bonus hour for weekend sits, and a minimum of 3 hours for Friday and Saturday nights.

The preschool co-op gives each new member 10 hours worth of sitting per child (i.e., 30 tickets worth 1/2 hour for each child the member has).  They also charge for travel time if the sitter has to go to the host’s house (as opposed to the host dropping off her children).

The group using the web service BabysitterExchange.com starts out each new member with 40 points, each point worth 15 minutes of babysitting per child.   As with a card system, it is impossible to get “in the hole” and leave the co-op with a negative balance.  (With a paid subscription, however, you can change the starting points, allow people to have a negative balance, and charge penalty points for cancellations.)

The disadvantage of this automated system is that there is no way to ask the system to recognize point rule variations, such as sleeping rates or add-ons such as more points for holidays. (However, point totals can be adjusted manually at the end of the sit.)  The upside is that sites like this can be set up for people to barter all sorts of services, including carpooling, house sitting, pet care, meal prep and much more.

Will You Charge Dues?

Babysitting co-ops can be done without dues, and administratively it’s much easier without.  However dues can help ease the burden on all by paying for an automated point service as well as food and drinks when it’s party time.

Depending on the size of your group, a minimal amount is often all that is necessary, such as $5 to $20 per year.

Who Will Lead the Group?

Yes, you started it, but do you want some relief sometimes?  The neighborhood group has rotating quarterly coordinators, who run the group (and are paid with points), as well as rotating bi-monthly secretaries, who fill “sits” by contacting members.

The preschool co-op has a coordinator.  Her job is to have new members fill out the paperwork and distribute new member’s 10 first free coupons.  She also assign hosts for the monthly playdates (see part 2 for more on social events).

The parent association group I am currently involved in has a coordinator and an assistant coordinator who take year-long terms, renewable indefinitely, or changeable at the Spring quarterly meeting.

Modes of Communication

How will you correspond with each other?  In the neighborhood-based co-op, finding a sitter was done by phone in this 30-year-old organization, where the secretary would call the person who had the lowest card count first.  In the age of email, communicating has become quicker but, some members lament, less personal.  They now distribute a roster at the mandatory monthly meeting and leave it up to each member to update addresses in her own email address book.

The preschool co-op, a decentralized causal group, uses an email list (or listserv) for all communications. If you use a website, most likely it will manage all contacts for you (automatically sending out an email to all members when someone requests a sit).

Basic building blocks in place, see part two in this series for tips on getting the word out, holding an opening event, and keeping the ball rolling.

Just when we finally got used to having to pay the airlines to bring our suitcases along, they are increasing the baggage charge.

Continental Airlines announced this week that it will be raising its baggage fees to match Delta’s new higher baggage rates. The new rates are:

First bag: $23 (paid online) or $25 (paid at the airport)
Second bag: $32 (paid online) or $35 (at the airport)

Don’t Get Caught Unaware

I’m ashamed to admit that just this summer, I had forgotten the details of the whole baggage fee policy (which most airlines introduced in 2008).

I thought one bag was free, so I purposely brought more suitcases than we needed (one for each of my children), thinking I could use the extra space to haul back the hand-me-downs I had stockpiled in my parents’ attic. (N.B.: Add on to the exorbitant price of living in New York City the cost of hauling children’s clothes from an offsite storage space.)

You can imagine I was feeling much less than a frugal mama when I got to the airport and US Airways charged me $15 per suitcase each way, for a total of $90.  (Today their fee is $25 per checked bag, and the damage would have been $150.)

This Christmas we traveled again and — alas, with presents and winter woolens — there was no way to cut down on the baggage count. And, believe me, with small children to keep track of, getting rid of your luggage at check-in is a happy moment.

How to Minimize the Damage

Assuming that the supposedly temporary baggage fees are here to stay, here are things I’ll keep in mind next time we fly within the 50 states. (Thankfully, most international carriers still allow one to two bags free.)

Check the airline’s baggage allowance well in advance of your trip.

This CNN article lists some of the latest, but since fees are changing, check the airline’s policy on their website. (A Google search for “baggage allowance” recently brought up a list of the most popular airline’s pages on this policy.)

Think ahead about how you can pack less or how you can find some items you need on the other end.

For example, if there are laundry facilities at your destination, pack half what you need and wash mid-trip.

Instead of giving them away, my parents keep bulky items like old tennis shoes, thick robes, and big sweaters to ease our double schlep. They also were kind enough to invest in gear like car seats, boosters, strollers, sippy cups and changing mats. Of course we always find a new package of diapers and wipes, bath soap and toys when we get there.

When traveling without children, use a carry-on suitcase.

However, be forewarned.   My friend, Lynn, recently sent out this email, furious about the charges she still had to pay with a carry-on suitcase:

I have been hassled by US Air and United airlines this weekend about my carry-on bag (which I have carried on without difficulty and which easily fits in the overhead compartment for the last 6 years). The bag is not even full. They have cut down the size limitations so it is 3 inches too big (cumulatively – adding height, length and width), so they can charge me $25 ($20 on United) to check it. The gate agent (after we had to change flights and airlines) actually took out a measuring tape and measured it. I am really furious.

CNN says here that “the airlines reported collecting nearly $740 million in baggage fees in the third quarter of 2009, according to U.S. Bureau of Transportation Statistics.”

Enlist your children for help.

If you are traveling with small children (and thus diapers, toys, strollers and snacks), a carry-on suitcase is not a welcome addition to the mix.

However, if you have slightly older children, they will probably be quite happy to help by carrying some of the extras, like toys and snacks, in their own backpacks.

Check-in online.

With some airlines, at least you can save a couple dollars on baggage fees. If you buy tickets online (my favorite travel search site is Kayak), airlines usually send you a reminder by email to check-in online.

Try Southwest or JetBlue.

If the baggage fees are really getting you down, see if your route is served by Southwest, which charges no fees, or by JetBlue, which only charges for the second bag ($30).  (Be aware that Southwest might not be the discount airline that it used to be.  A Frugal Mama reader reports that prices can be significantly higher than major lines.)

Bring your own food.

Airplane food is now just like airport food: unhealthy and overpriced.  Most airlines will charge you now for what they used to hand out as a courtesy for harried travelers.

Because liquids are not allowed (besides amounts under 4 oz. of medicine or baby milk), don’t bring yogurt or juice boxes.  Do bring empty water bottles and fill them up once you pass security.

And don’t even count on the tiny bag of salty snacks and a Coke on board. The last time we flew US Airways, everyone got served the same beverage: a glass of water!

Do you have any tips or experiences with baggage fees to share?

Even if you appreciate a beautifully packaged present, you will rarely have to buy wrapping supplies if you can hang onto the trimmings of birthday and holiday gifts.

On Christmas morning, we set out several shopping bags to collect re-usable wrapping paper, ribbons and cards. Kids can join in the fun by helping conserve and categorize pretty pieces.

Wrapping Paper

Ripping a package open is fun, but save that for the little ones.  Grown-ups can open packages by slipping a finger under the tape and quickly lifting it off.   (Or keep the paper even more pristine by unwrapping with a pair of scissors, like a surgeon.)

Alternatives to Recycled Paper

It can be hard to save enough paper to wrap large gifts.  Consider cutting down on the clutter of different rolls of paper by buying one big roll of brown paper. Jazz it up with recycled ribbons and cut-out cards or ask your child decorate it with good old-fashioned crayons or paints.

Or use the orderly beauty of numbers to decorate your package by wrapping with the financial section of the newspaper. Add a flourish with thick ribbon or several rounds of colored twine.

Ribbon

I really love the look and feel of real fabric ribbon, but I just can’t get myself to spend money on it for gift wrapping.

The solution is to save all the beautiful ribbons you receive, roll them up or toss them in a ribbon box, and enjoy the pleasure of tying them in a bow when it’s your turn to gift.

Even small strips of ribbon come in handy for dressing up a bottle of wine or other hostess gift.

If you want to go the extra mile, you could even iron the (fabric only) ribbons to make them look almost as good as new.

Gift Bags

Because they are more durable and don’t suffer the damaging effects of tape and creasing, the now ubiquitous gift bags are effortlessly re-usable. (Don’t forget to save the tissue paper too.)

When a gift bag is ready to retire from the party circuit, use it to haul library books or packages to the post office.

Cards

If there is nothing written on the top half of a card, it can easily be used again by cutting around the image to create your own unique card. Punch a hole and thread ribbon through to make it more spiffy.

Recycling wrapping paper and ribbon is an easy way to be both frugal and green.

Do you have some more ideas on how to save money and the earth at birthday and holiday time?

This crunchy, salty butterscotch topped with creamy chocolate is a cookie exchange favorite.  (It was introduced to me at a caroling party in New York City by Amy Sevick-Healy from Minnesota, where they call it Lutheran Church Basement Toffee.)

It’s so fast and simple that my second-grader and I made it together in about 30 minutes with ingredients from our pantry. For an extra-delicious experience, use Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips, which got top billing from a Cooks Illustrated blind taste test.

Pair this homemade candy with a heartfelt card, and you have a wonderful, low-cost gift. Here is a blow-by-blow demonstration of the candy-making.  See also the one-page printable recipe version.

Quick Chocolate-Covered Toffee

Fills one 10″ x 13″ cookie sheet; makes about 70 two-inch toffee squares

• 4 oz. (1/4 of a 1 lb. box or bag) of crackers or pretzels
• 2 sticks butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 12-oz. bag semi-sweet chocolate chips
• sprinkles (optional)

1.  Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Line a cookie sheet (10 x 13″ works well) with aluminum foil.  Grease the foil by rubbing with a stick of slightly-softened butter or by spraying with cooking oil.

2.  Crush crackers or pretzels and spread over the cookie sheet.

3.  Place butter and sugar in small saucepan over medium-high heat.

4.  Bring the butter and sugar to a boil and boil for 3 minutes, untouched.  (If you are making this recipe with children, it goes without saying to be very careful with the boiling toffee and hot cookie sheet.) The mixture should be completely blended and should look like this picture more or less. If you see pockets of melted butter, cook for a bit longer.

5.  Pour evenly over cracker mixture.

6.  Bake in a 400 degree oven for 5 minutes.

7.  Remove the cookie sheet from the oven, and immediately sprinkle the cracker-toffee with the chocolate chips.

8.  Use the back of a spoon to spread the chocolate evenly.

9.  Decorate with sprinkles if desired.

10.  Chill in the fridge or freezer (or outside in the cold) for at least 15 minutes.  Remove the foil and then cut into 2 inch strips.

Cut again crosswise to make 2 inch squares.  (If frozen, the toffee may become brittle and break into uneven pieces, but that’s okay too.)

Store in the fridge between layers of wax or parchment paper.

See also the one-page printable recipe version.

If you make it, please come back and tell me how it went!

Classy in a quiet way, these pine cone decorations are basically free and are fun to make with children.

What You’ll Need

• pine cones
• school glue or gel medium, a colorless binder often used for collage and decoupage
• glitter (white, silver, or pearl looks fabulous)

and if you want to make them into Christmas ornaments:

• string or florist wire
• Christmas ornament hooks

How to Make Them

1.  Gather pine cones.

Our family collected pine cones under evergreen trees in Central Park.  We had so much fun picking them them and finding different sizes and shapes.  Collecting pine cones also gave us an excuse to get outside in nature, even in the cold weather.

2.  Attach ornament hooks (optional).

The pine cones can also be displayed in a bowl, on the mantelpiece, or as table decor, but to make them into hanging ornaments, we tied a piece of gray string to the top scales of the pine cone and then to an ornament hook (available where Christmas ornaments are sold).

You can also wrap a short piece of florist wire around the top of the cone, and then attach a hook.

3.  Apply glue.

For a more delicate, natural look (as you see in the top image), dab school glue on the scales of the cone where there are already white bits of dried sap, or on the edges where snow might collect. For a more bold, glittery look (shown below), roll the cones in a tray of gel medium (a clear acrylic paint available in artist supply stores).

4.  Glitter them up.

You can either sprinkle the pine cones with glitter, or dump a bunch of glitter in a box and roll them in the glitter.

5.  Let dry.

Hang pine cones to dry or rest them lightly on a surface that won’t stick to the glue (such as a countertop, bathtub, or plastic sheets).

How Can You Use Them?

• Pile them in a bowl and use them as a centerpiece
• Hang them on doorknobs, window sills, drawer handles, or on a tree
• Arrange loosely around candlesticks or in a bowl under a lamp
• Package them in a box or bag with tissue paper and give as hostess gifts
• Tie them to a wreath or hang a bunch like grapes on your front door

It was funny: as we selected and decorated the pine cones, we realized how beautiful they were as is.  But it was fun to embellish them.

My mother recently bought some Skechers tennis shoes for my 7-year-old daughter. I was flabbergasted to see the free gift inside the box:  a cell phone charm.  A cell phone charm?  For a 7-year-old?

Am I out of touch or does anybody else think it’s crazy for a young child to carry a cell phone?   It made me mad that a company was trying to push this stuff on kids.  Of course it’s the parents’ decision to buy their child a cell phone or not, but the charm was like giving a child an empty ice cream cone.

Life will play its course, but I don’t plan on letting my children have cell phones or personal computers until they are in high school, or close to it.  I guess we’ll be going against the grain since a Washington Post article “Cell Phones: How Early is Too Early?” reports that “one in five 8-year-olds are cell phone users,” according to the latest Nielsen data, and that the average age a child first gets a cell phone is now 9 years.

Even though kiddie phones like Firefly or TicTalk , which feature games and parent controls, can be had for $50 (in addition to the monthly plan), a cell phone is minor luxury.  (For an older child, most carriers charge about $20 for unlimited texting, on top of the voice plan, for at least $60 per month.)

I get that some families might need a phone or child GPS device for safety or logistical reasons, but in most cases when you are careful with money, you don’t buy your first-graders cell phones.  Yet the decision is more complex, of course.

A Tight Budget’s Silver Lining

How we choose to spend our money is a reflection of our values.  I “can’t afford” a cell phone for my daughter because I don’t want to (because I worry it will make her grow up faster, be influenced by negative aspects of mass media culture, become spoiled).

Many elements of our family’s way of life began from a basic constraint:  our limited spending power.  We cook instead of ordering in, hang at the playground instead of at after-school classes, pitch in with chores as a family instead of hiring a cleaning service.  But I’ve come to see these habits as improvements in the quality of our lives.  Choices that I don’t want to change — even if we strike gold one day.

 

Putting It All in Perspective

When I worry that I’m not giving my children enough, I think of Laura Ingalls in the Little House on the Prairie series (which my daughter and I have been reading together almost every night since kindergarten, book by book).

Besides having almost no personal possessions or toys, Laura and her sisters did a lot of work. In fact, their days were filled with chores and working to survive. Were they any less happy?  I doubt it.

Comparing our lives to those of other families  — throughout time and over the world — always makes me feel better.  Children don’t wither on the vine if they don’t get the latest gadget or their mother’s helicoptering attention.  In fact, chances are they’re better off without.

So How Do You Say No to a DS, Play Station, or Cell Phone?

My daughter hasn’t overtly asked me or begged me — yet. When she does, I will say no and tell her we don’t want to spend our money that way. If she offers to spend her allowance money, my answer would still be no and here is why:

Computers, TV and video games (and let’s face it — cell phones are mini-computers) rob time from things that are good for her: making friends, getting out in nature, learning by doing (helping around the house, creating things, developing hobbies), playing freely, reading and getting exercise.

I might give my daughter this explanation once or twice, but after that the answer will be a simple no.  Nancy Samalin, a parenting educator and author of Loving Without Spoiling, suggests that reasoning is not a way to get your child to obey.   All those “why’s” are just ways to break us down.  In fact, a survey found that kids will beg for something an average of nine times before the parents give in.  So if we really believe in something, the trick is to steel up our iron wills and be prepared to stand firm.  (For more ideas, see the article “Unspoil Your Child” by Marisa Cohen.)

“When you say no to another gizmo, say yes to something your child really wants — your time,” advises the Center for the New American Dream in their downloadable booklet Tips for Parenting in a Commercial Culture.  They go on to say:

In What Kids Really Want that Money Can’t Buy, author Betsy Taylor points to surveys and self-reports that indicate what children really want more than stuff is time — with parents, friends, and extended family. According to a 2003 New American Dream poll, 57 percent of children age 9-14 would rather do something fun with their mom or dad than go to the mall to go shopping. Kids yearn to get off the treadmill with their families and simply have unstructured fun…whether it’s playing games, cooking, reading together, or just sharing space with the TV off.

This advice can be a hard pill to swallow.  In our fast-paced world, we are always trying to get more and more done.  Going to the baseball game with a child does not feel like “getting something accomplished.”  And buying a gadget for a kid that will keep him entertained for hours is awfully tempting.

Starting a ritual activity both you and your child enjoy can be a win-win situation.  Not many parents want to sit down and play trucks or dress-up.  But they might want to play cards together, or make cookies, go running together, have tea (or hot chocolate) and listen to music, write letters or organize closets.  (Yes, kids like to do that stuff — especially if they get to do it with you.)  The ritual part (every Sunday night, for example) ensures that you’ll keep making space for quality time together.

These are simply my points of view. What about you? Any thoughts on the subject of cell phones for kids, frugal living, or what kids really want?

In our affluent society, so many of us have everything we need or want. In fact we have so much that we are often trying to simplify by reducing “stuff.”

Here are some ideas for valuable gifts that don’t create clutter and don’t have to be expensive.

Give an Experience

Research shows that people appreciate memorable experiences more than material possessions, reports Money magazine.

Create Memories Together

What about going together to a musical, play, or concert?  A day at the basketball or football game?  When I lived in New York, my friends would buy us seasons tickets to a theater.  No matter how busy life got, we knew we had a standing date every month or so.  Discounts can be found if you plan ahead or don’t mind sitting farther back.

Children are so easy in this regard.  They appreciate almost anything, and they don’t have complicated schedules to work around.

To have something wrapped under the tree, purchase a program, CD, souvenir or t-shirt and tuck the tickets inside.

Permission to Pamper

Treat someone to a manicure, massage, or facial.  A foot massage is an economical alternative to a back massage and, because pressure points in feet are said to be connected to every part of our bodies, it can feel just as fabulous.

A lot of women I know won’t spend the money on a manicure or a hairdo, but a gift certificate gives them an excuse to treat themselves.  Last year my husband got me a 10-class pass to a yoga studio/community center that I had been wanting to try.  It was the push I needed to do something good for myself.

Children (or spouses) can easily make up a coupon for a chore-free day or breakfast in bed.  Here is a tutorial (and easy printable) on how to make a coupon book of favors.

Develop Skills and Hobbies

If a ballet class is not in the budget, maybe it is in the holiday gift budget (especially if relatives want to chip in).  What about classes for:

• scrapbooking or robotics
• ice skating or hockey
• knitting or writing
• learning to play a musical instrument
• tennis, soccer, or skiing
• cooking or ceramics

Have an accessory or essential tool wrapped and under the tree to create a sense of excitement.

Give Your Time and Effort

In a poll by the Center for a New American Dream, 82% of Americans said they would rather receive a photo album of memories than a store-bought gift.

Assemble Photo Books

Choosing, uploading and arranging photos can be time-consuming, but it’s hard to find a more treasured gift.  Most grandparents are at the point in life when they have all the things they need:  their families are what really matter.

Professional-looking albums are relatively easy to make these days with digital cameras and services like Shutterfly and Snapfish.  If you have a Mac, iPhoto’s seamless interface with Apple’s printing services can’t be beat.  For other platforms, TopTenReviews rates 10 photo book programs.

Memorialize Children’s Creative Work

The same concept can be applied to kids’ drawings, stories, or poems.  The easiest and least-expensive method would be to make your own book using card stock for the covers and ribbon for binding.

For a more sleek look, scan or take pictures of the drawings and use the same photo services above or try a book-making site like Blurb or My Publisher.

Make Coupon Books for Kids

Tim Kasser, author of the High Price of Materialism, says the most memorable gifts in his family are coupons for favors.  On Christmas Eve, he and his wife create tickets with colored pencils for things such as:

• Get to skip fruit or vegetable (and still eat dessert)
• Stop everything and play a game with me (or read me a story)
• Get to stay up 15 minutes later
• Be excused from cleaning up mess after playing

He says that he and his wife have even received coupons in return for back massages, taking out the compost or no fighting all day.

Inspired by his example, I made coupon books for my kids, which they loved.  You can print the coupon template here.

Give Consumables

The beauty of food is that it disappears after it’s been enjoyed.  To save money in addition to clutter, you could give batches of homemade cookies, frozen pasta sauces, or spreads and jams.

If you live close by, what about a promise to come over and cook once a week or once a month?  If you’re far away, how about a care package that repeats itself over the year, with a different theme each month.

Ready-Made Mixes

If you’d like something a little less labor-intensive, you could give mixes for making scones, muffins, soups, or pancakes.  King Arthur Flour in Vermont, a respected resource for home and professional bakers, has an assortment of baking mixes (and pretty packages if you want to make them up yourself).

Gourmet Food & Organic Produce

What about chocolate and decorated cookies, or pesticide-free nuts and fruit?  Lots of companies will deliver gift baskets for you, or you could make your own by visiting a farmer’s market, assembling a collection of cheeses from the international aisle, or making a collection of baked goods that are wrapped beautifully.

Dinner (Almost) on the Table

Many people — from college students to busy moms — would appreciate a gift card to a coffee shop.  What about a free pass to indulge at a gourmet food store that would normally be off-limits?  A gift certificate to a meal assembly service like Let’s Dish?  See this nationwide directory of easy meal preparation kitchens — where you can quickly assemble dinners from prepared ingredients into freezable portions.

When we had baby number four, a faraway friend, figuring we had all that we needed, sent us frozen sirloin steaks and side sides, like garlic mashed potatoes and  green been casserole.  It was not your frozen aisle fare, and it was very appreciated.

This list of of gifts that don’t become “Stuff” is simply a smattering of ideas.  I know you have lots more, and I’d love to hear what you’ve given or received over the years.