As enthusiastic as I am about free-range parenting — where parents let go of overblown fears to give children the freedom to explore  — I would probably give myself a B- on the Free-Range Parenting scale.

My older children are 10, 8, and 4-years old, and I don’t let them walk to friends’ houses, I don’t leave them at the playground (have you heard of Take Our Children to the Park…& Leave Them There Day?), I barely let them near the oven, and in general, I feel like an over-protective mama.

Yet, I am convinced that weaning myself away from anxious helicoptering and towards relaxed overseeing is the way I should be going. I want my kids to learn how to navigate the world so they can handle the ever-more complicated situations that they will come across.

I want them to feel comfortable, not scared, when it’s time to walk to middle school on their own. I want them to know I have confidence in their ability to be responsible, to take care of themselves, to respect others, and to do the right thing.

As many studies have shown, when we expect a lot from children, they rise to the occasion.

But what about the danger part? According to Lenore Skenazy, founder of the Free-Range Parenting movement, in an article published today called Free-range kids encouraged to spread their wings:

“Statistically speaking, you would need to keep your child standing on the road outside for 750,000 years before they would be kidnapped and held by a stranger overnight. To keep seeing things only in terms of risk even when that risk is minute is weird,” [Skenazy] said.

“Today is statistically the safest time in human history and yet we act … as if the whole world is filled with paedophiles and perverts and runaway cars.”

So even though I am not a poster parent for Free-Range, here are some things I am doing to help foster my kids’ self-reliance without taxing myself with worry:

1.  Let them walk to school by themselves

We just moved to this city neighborhood, and I occasionally let Sofia, who is in fourth grade, and Virginia, their grade, take the 10-minute walk to school by themselves. Of course when we were young, this was the norm: I used to walk a whole mile to kindergarten by myself.

Even though I love the time to connect when we walk together, sometimes it’s helpful when they can walk on their own — and they appreciate the vote of confidence.

2.  Let them walk to an after-school activity

Ten-year-old Sofia has one after-school activity, and her ballet class is two blocks from school in her teacher’s house, which she walks to on her own (then I come pick her up).

Sofia was a bit wary at first, but now she enjoys this shot of independence and feels proud of her ability to handle it.

3.  Let them play on the side streets by our house

This year I let the girls go pick wildflowers in the two blocks around our house. They have also gone to the tree-swing on the corner, and explored the surrounding streets to take pictures of cherry blossoms. It’s not anything like running around the neighborhood until dinnertime like I used to do, but it’s a step.

This freedom is exciting to them, and they always come back flushed in the face, excited to show me their finds.

4.  Teach them to cook dinner once a week

Eating Virginia’s first-cooked meal together last night

After the third time Sofia told me that she wished I would make her “dream salad,” one that included iceberg lettuce, grated carrots, sliced tomatoes, canned corn, and Ranch dressing (so much for my spinach concoctions!), I offered to let her and her sister make dinner a few times a month.

Sofia took a picture of her plate: she clearly goes by the no-touching rule

I thought they would like the idea because they had made several comments that I got to do the fun part (cooking) while they had to do the yucky part (setting the table).

So Virginia inaugurated the tradition last night by making farfalle with ham and cream sauce, and an iceberg lettuce and corn salad. (What is it with iceberg and kids?)

She picked the groceries, cut up the veggies, stirred the pasta, heated up the bread, and did pretty much everything except tipping the pot full of the boiling water into the sink. I was there, of course, every step of the way, instructing and coaching. But how else would someone learn to cook?

Virginia was engaged in the whole process, and her siblings reinforced her achievement. Her older sister, often criticizing, actually said, “Wow, this looks good!” Mark, the four-year-old dessert-fiend, even cleaned his plate.

I think letting children cook is in tune with free-range, because it’s allowing children to take (age-appropriate) risks in order to learn about the world, have fun, and grow.

Are you participating in Screen-Free Week?  Much to my eldest daughters’ chagrin (who wants more computer time), my children’s screen time is so limited, there is not much to cut. But I like the message behind the event: unplug and play, daydream, create, explore, and spend time with family and friends.

We all could use a little more of that.

“Real, fresh lemonade is a taste from the past that deserves a home in the present,” writes Mark Bittman above his recipe for lemonade.

It was wilting hot, but walking Mark to and from summer camp is sacred, no matter the weather.  After reading a naptime story back home, I couldn’t help sneak in a cat snooze myself (since I had stayed up too late the night before). When I woke up, all I could think about was lemonade.

A bag of lemons in the fruit drawer and a sack of sugar in the cupboard came to my rescue, and in exactly 15 minutes, I had a pitcher of real lemonade.  It’s true, there is something unfamiliar about the clean sour taste of homemade lemonade.  And there was a little muscle effort — squeezing eight lemons — for a relatively small yield.  Four cups of lemonade goes by fast in my household.

But it was worth it.

Real Lemonade with a Touch of Basil

adapted from Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything

Serves 4

Basil is not necessary, but if you have a sprig, tuck it in for a minty twist.

• 3 cups of water
• 1 cup of freshly-squeezed lemon juice (you’ll need a 2-lb. bag of lemons, or about 8 lemons)
• 1/2 cup of sugar syrup (see below) or 1/2 cup of sugar (which may take a while to dissolve)
• 4 basil leaves (optional)

1. To make a batch of sugar syrup, which can be stored in the fridge and used to sweeten any cold drink, heat 2 cups of water and 2 cups of sugar in a saucepan. Stir occasionally until the sugar is completely dissolved.
2. Combine the water, lemon juice, and 1/2 cup of the sugar syrup.
3. Taste. You will need to add a little more sugar syrup, but do it slowly, because I agree with Mark Bittman that the drink should be “mouth-puckeringly tart.”
4. If you want, tuck a basil leaf or sprig into the pitcher or glass.

When was the last time you tasted lemonade made the old-fashioned way?

Villasimius, Sardinia (Italy) last summer

I have a memory of our vacation to Italy last year that is so embarrassing it makes me both laugh and cringe.

It was a trip to celebrate the end of Enrico’s long medical training.  We had just bought our house, and we had jumped through all sorts of hoops so that Enrico could go back home before starting his new job.

We went to Sardinia, a huge island north of Sicily known for its beautiful beaches. Because Enrico’s mother was born there, the trip was kind-of like a celebration, a pilgrimmage, and a family reunion rolled into one. Looking back, it’s not the cost that I regret. It’s that we didn’t enjoy the vacation to the fullest.  Basically we didn’t act like Italians.

We brought our laptop. During nap times, Enrico and I took turns lugging the heavy hand-me-down laptop down the hill to the main building where we could get online.  We checked emails, I wrote blog posts, Enrico dealt with some paperwork issues.  But it gets worse. We took the laptop to the beach.

Enrico likes to read the news online, so I wasn’t totally taken aback when he wanted to bring the computer to the shore. But then we decided to take a walk along the beach.  The morning sun cast a peachy light, and the bleached sand and ancient tumbled rock promised peace and discovery.

We were the only ones in the family at the beach that early, and Enrico didn’t feel we could leave the computer there, so he put it in its gray padded carrying case and brought it along. The ridiculousness of this act didn’t totally hit me until later into our walk, and here is where I hang my head in smiling shame.

The water was warm and serene so he kept getting deeper and deeper as we walked toward a lighthouse in the distance. At one point I looked over at him and he was holding the computer case by its short handle just above the licks of the waves, like a briefcase.

What Italian in their right mind — what human, for that matter — would carry a computer in the Mediterranean Sea?  At the time I may have worried about the electronic equipment, but now I worry more about the brain equipment.

Me, holding a sleeping Luke at the beach last year

And not just his.  I was just as guilty of not taking a real vacation — even though we were paying for it.  It’s true that just five days before we had moved our family across four states.  It would have been very difficult for me to pre-write enough blog posts and freelance articles to fill that three-week vacation, but I didn’t even try.  I just trudged along as if I had no control over my life.

To be sure, I didn’t see writing as a burden.  In fact, I love what I do, but I now realize how important it is — if even just once a year — to take a complete break from normal daily life and from work.

For so many of us, that daily life is increasingly dominated by electronics.  I’m an at-home mom and a part-time blogger, but I spend several hours a day on the computer, and as my career has grown, my work has seeped into evenings, weekends, even vacations.

So when our week-long trip to meet Enrico’s family in the Dominican Republic was looming, I decided it would be good for me to power down.  It had been longer than I could remember that I spent a week without email, writing deadlines, online news, social media blips and pings, and the constant bombardment of new material to read and process.  Yet . . . why?  As Tim Kreider points out in must-read The Busy Trap, I definitely don’t have one of those essential jobs that are performed by a cat or a boa constrictor in a Richard Scarry book.

Getting my work done ahead of time, and not sneaking into the business center at the hotel, took discipline. But then again so do most good things in life, as I was reminded by re-reading one of my favorite books, The Road Less Traveled.  My reward for giving up the Internet — which had become like a life-jacket for a good swimmer, an indulgent crutch — was huge.

Not only did I fully experience each moment with my husband, my children, my relatives who we see so rarely, but I felt a deep sense of relaxation.  And here is what I had forgotten about living without screens and work — I was given mental and emotional clarity.  Instead of laboring over answers, they came to me.  Big ones, like what life pursuits and actions would make me look back on my life with satisfaction and not regret.

I think this is because when we silence the constant buzz of busyness — whatever form that takes for each of us — we allow the important stuff to rise up.  It’s as if, instead of treading water to stay alive, we stop, lie back, and float.  We look up at the stars. We mute the world through the water, and we listen to our own breathing.

So if you’re feeling at an impasse and you don’t know where to go, if you want to make a change in your life but you don’t know what, if you’re feeling like your life has gotten too frenetic but you’re not feeling fulfilled, then take those questions with you.  But just be.

And especially if you’re a little intense and ambitious, or if the idea of leaving your [favorite digital device] at home feels like giving up wine for a week (ahem), then you need the respite the most.  And don’t think you’re slacking.  Great writers have been known to get their best stuff done while taking long walks, far from their typewriters, because creativity is fueled by daydreaming, by looking at one thing and seeing another.

This morning I am taking the kids to visit my parents in southern Ohio, and that’s just what I am going to do.  I have a few posts scheduled, but don’t let that fool you.  I’m really playing with my children, taking naps, reading books, and taking long walks.

Last year. Petting one of the two animals left on the farm. The other is a cat named Coco.

I know I’ll come back with more insights and more hope.  And I’ll feel good about having really been in the moment with my family.  For having really experienced, as fully as my busy mind can, my trip home.

I hope you can afford to pull the plug sometime this summer, over the weekend, or even for just a few hours. You won’t regret it.

While I was reading your responses to my little survey, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through with dry eyes.  What struck me most was:

You get it.

Where I’m headed tomorrow

Judging from the outpouring of responses, you and I are not alone in loving, among other things:

• simple living
• old-fashioned standards
• making instead of buying
• family over everything else
• responsible kids, home cooking, uncluttered spaces, and much more

We live in a complex, fast-paced world.  But as you and I know, it is possible to find clarity and peace.  It is possible to create a beautiful life without spending gobs of money.  It is possible to tune out the noise and focus on what’s really important.

Luke and I last year on the farm

So thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, for joining the discussion, for listening and wondering.  I am working on some enriching additions to Frugal Mama, and through the stillness of this summer, I have been thinking about my personal path through life.

For now I just wanted to say that I am so happy that you are with me on this journey.

My four-year-old son, Mark, has begun to help cleaning up the kitchen

When my daughter Sofia wrote a few weeks ago about how allowance works in our house, she opened some questions.  The most important being: is allowance a payment for chores?  The short answer is no, but the long answer is more interesting.

Why Paying Kids to Help Doesn’t Work

When my kids were little, I learned that their interest in money was inconstant.  One day they might jump at the chance to earn a quarter by sweeping the kitchen; other days, they might just want to keep playing what they were playing.

The problem with tying chores to money is that it’s too easy for a child to opt out. If we offer $0.25 every time a child cleans his room, when he says, “No, thanks, I don’t need that $0.25 today, you can clean my room,” then we’re stuck.  Not only do we get a messy room, but our kids lose out on a chance to learn about money.

So when I needed help that was consistent and sustainable — and having baby number three was the turning point — I didn’t bring money into the equation.  I didn’t want to be disappointed when my daughters said, “No, thanks,” so I made “no” not an option.

We Can Expect a Lot from Our Kids — Without Ever Bringing up Money

Virginia picks tomatoes and kale for a dinner she will help make.

My daughters started helping me with cleaning the entire house — from bathrooms to living rooms — when they were only five and seven. I instructed them a few times, and for difficult areas like the bathroom, I wrote up a how-to sheet.

Now ten and eight years old, Sofia and Virginia are still helping me with major cleaning chores, and as you can see from the pictures, my four-year-old son Mark is getting in on the action. (And he’s quite proud about it.)

Ironically, the most difficult part of this whole process is deciding to require children to help and committing to it.  I totally get that asking kids to pitch in doesn’t come naturally. So many factors work against us in our affluent and child-centered society, and frankly, this old-fashioned kind of lifestyle may not appeal to everyone.

I didn’t grow up helping out a lot, so how did I end up with a family of little worker bees? I’ve given the “how” a lot of thought, and tomorrow I explain more at Parentables in Why My Elementary-Age Kids Help Me Clean the House.

Chores are a Part of Everyday Life, They’re Not Practice for a Real Job

Mark mops the floor after breaking the rules and walking around the house with a dripping popsicle. Chores can also be used as a natural consequence.

I don’t see chores as a way to teach kids how to earn money.  That may come down the line, but I think what comes first is teaching them responsibility. I don’t know anyone who gets paid to brush their teeth or to fold their own laundry. I also don’t know many bosses who tell their employees, “I’ll pay you $50 if you write this memo.”

Doing a good job is something that we should expect of ourselves and our children because it’s the right thing to do. Asking children to complete tasks without a monetary reward allows them to experience the inherent satisfaction in doing a job well.

Don’t you feel kind-of good when you see a room go from messy and dirty to tidy and clean?  I know I do. There can be something fun about working, and my kids have learned that too.  They may whine and complain at first, but like adults who exercise, once they’re in the zone and especially when they see concrete results, they feel proud.

Why Allowance Should Not Be Used as a Reward (or Punishment)

Sofia divides her allowance by percentage into Spend, Save, and Share.

One time my kids drove my husband crazy, and he docked their allowance. In the heat of the moment, all parents grasp for punishments that we hope will squelch bad behavior.  But there was something dispiriting about taking away the allowance; it was almost like a break of trust.

My kids have come to count on those few dollars a month, and it helps them plan for the future.  “In three more months, I’ll have enough in Share to help save an Arctic fox,” Virginia will say.  It’s hard to mete out any kind of punishment for talking back or being mean, but I’d much rather make my kids go to bed early, skip screen time, or clean out the car, than take away their little allowance.

Just as I expect my kids to help as a part of life, I have come to see allowance as a similar non-negotiable commitment — on my part.

Chores are Good for Kids; Allowance is Good for Parents (and Vice-Versa)

I confess that the whole reason I started giving allowance was to stop the begging every time we’d walk into a store. Now that my kids have their own money, pleading has almost disappeared. What’s more, with the simple act of giving segmented allowance, I feel like I’m teaching them self-discipline and delayed gratification, without doing much of anything.  It’s a system that regulates itself.

Expecting children to help by setting up a system of family chores not only makes for a functional, tidy, and harmonious household, but, by asking children to help, we are also showing them that they are essential and needed and that we have confidence in their capabilities.

Even if families don’t ask their kids to help much around the house, I still think allowance is a useful exercise.  If our schools and universities are not teaching kids how to manage money, where else are they going to get that training?

These conclusions about chores and allowance did not come to me in the middle of the night while holding my first-born. As I hope I have shown you, I am always living and learning, and changing as our journey evolves. Because cooperating and intentional allowance seems to be bringing our family closer and making our children stronger, I wanted to share that with you.

Have you tried a system of family chores? If you’d like to but haven’t, what obstacles are you facing? Let me know in the comments.

As you know, I am away this week, breathing sea air and being with my family, but my thoughts often wander back to my writing and Frugal Mama.

I want to understand what you want, what your concerns are, and how I can help you.

So instead of talking, I’m listening.

Would you please answer just two questions?  Click here to take the survey.

Thank you.

Last night, my family and I devoured a dinner of pumpkin flower risotto and salad with kale and nasturtium flowers.  We have never tasted something so good, and we all agree: this is the best thing we have eaten from our garden.

Here is how we planted our edible flowers.  We cleared out some space in our front yard — you could use your side or back yard too.  Then we used natural potting soil and spread it over our planting area. [Note from Mom:  Sprinkling a layer of potting soil worked for our Morning Glories, but when planting food, I suggest replacing at least six inches of of earth with high-quality planting mix.]

Pumpkin Flowers

My mom picked Howden pumpkin seeds because the package said that they are round, orange, and “just the perfect size for spectacular jack o’lanterns.” You can’t eat all the flowers, because some turn into pumpkins. We used three to four seeds per hole.  Make sure the seeds are spread out in order to grow.

Nasturtium Flowers

Nasturtiums are good to eat, but they also shoo rabbits and attract hummingbirds.  Put only one seed in each hole.

Daylilies

We didn’t have to plant the daylilies.  They were already there when we moved in.  See if you have any edible flowers in your yard.  My mom says you might want to read this article:  How to Forage for Wild Edibles with Kids.

Borage

This is what the borage seed packet says: “Clusters of sparkling blue flowers look like stars falling from the sky.  Edible flowers are beautiful on salads, or candied atop cakes and pastries.”  Use three to four seeds in each hole.

Just a reminder:  remember to water all of your edible flower seeds every morning or afternoon.

What These Flowers Taste Like

The pumpkin flowers are pillowy and buttery.  The nasturtiums have a good amount of sourness, and when they are fried, they are very crunchy.  The lilies taste like the pumpkin flowers, except they are more crunchy.

We haven’t tried the borage flowers yet, because we planted them very recently, but the seeds are sprouting. The seed packet says that you can also candy these flowers and top them on pastries and cakes. I wonder what that would taste like.

Here are our favorite recipes for eating flowers:

Kale Salad with Nasturtium Flowers

Kale chips are a treat for winter, but we decided they’re too hot for summer, so we tried this recipe.  My sister, Sofia, likes this kale salad better than ice cream.

• Tuscan kale leaves
• Nasturtium flowers
• Lemon juice
• Olive oil
• Salt

1. Wash and cut up the kale leaves. The stems are hard to chew, so cut them off.
2. Wash the nasturtium flowers.
3. Put kale and flowers in a salad bowl, and mix with the juice of about half a lemon.
4. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt, and mix well.
5. Let the salad sit in the bowl for about 5 to 10 minutes so that the kale will get softer and it will be easier to chew.
6. Toss the salad again right before serving it.

Pumpkin Flower Risotto

My mom wrote this recipe down because I’ve never made this risotto by myself.

• 5 to 10 pumpkin flowers or squash blossoms, chopped roughly
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 small onion, chopped
• 1 cup of chicken broth, diluted with 4 cups of water
• 2 cups of Arborio or other Italian risotto rice
• 1/4 cup freshly-grated parmesan cheese

1. In a small saucepan, heat the broth and water mixture over low heat.
2. Put the oil, onions, and one tablespoon of butter in a wide sturdy pot and turn the heat to medium-high. Add the rice and toss until coated.
3. Then with a soup ladle, begin to add the warm broth to the rice, 1/2 cup at a time. Continually stir the rice with a wooden spoon, scraping the sides and bottom of the pot so the rice doesn’t stick.  Once the rice has absorbed the broth, add another 1/2 cup.  Keep adding broth this way for 15 minutes.
4. Add the chopped pumpkin flowers, stir well, and cook for another 5 minutes, adding broth as needed.
5. Begin to taste the rice. When the rice is ‘al dente’ like pasta — tender but firm to the bite — it is done.  The consistency of the risotto should be slightly moist but neither runny nor chunky.
6. When the rice is about 1 to 2 minutes away from being done, add the parmesan cheese and the last tablespoon of butter. Stir to melt, then turn off the heat.  Taste a cooled spoonful and add salt if necessary, stirring again.
7. Serve right away.

Batter-Dipped and Fried Flowers

Here is the recipe for frying flowers in beer batter.  If you are afraid that drinking beer will not be good for you, don’t worry because the beer cooks off when you fry it.  My family and I have tried pumpkin flowers, nasturtiums and daylilies fried and we all love them.

• 1 1/2 cups beer (one bottle)
• 1 1/2 cups of flour (not self-rising)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons of salt
• about 1 cup of vegetable oil
• edible flowers, about 10 to 15

1. First put the dry ingredients into a bowl.  Then pour in the beer, and stir well until all of the lumps are gone.
2. Pour about 1/2 inch of vegetable oil into a tall-sided skillet.  My mom says turn the heat to medium.
3. Dip the flowers in the batter, and make sure all of the sides are covered.
4. When the oil is shimmery but not smoking, carefully lay each flower into the oil, but don’t drop them in because the hot oil will splatter.  So that you can have space to fry other flowers, put each one close to each other, but not touching.
5. Lift each flower with tongs and see if they are browning.  If they are, flip them over to the back side and cook until both sides are golden brown.
6. Take the flowers out with tongs and let them drip oil back into the pan. If you touch the flower right away, it could burn your finger.  Put it on a plate lined with paper towels, and do it with all the other flowers until you’re finished.

Here is a picture of me. I love seeing when the flowers are ready and flipping them over.

Do you have any edible flowers growing in your yard?  Let me know in the comments!

Photos taken by Sofia Suardi (10 years)

My sister, Jenny, and her husband, Lucas, live in Argentina, so it was a treat to reunite with them at a state park last weekend. My parents engineered the reunion at a hotel inside Rocky Gap State Park in Maryland.

The combination was perfect: reuniting with faraway family, being in a peaceful setting free from cars and commerce, and relaxing into all-the-comforts lodging.  We didn’t even have to fight D.C. traffic because the two-hour drive brought us in the opposite direction of the crowded beaches.

State parks are on my new list of kid-friendly get-aways. An even less expensive option would have been to stay in a cabin, and it would still be considered “glamping.” According to our friends Rob and Michele, who meet friends at a campsite in Ohio every year, cabins have separate bedrooms, kitchenettes, and air conditioning.

There is something wholesome and deliciously slow about vacationing in a natural setting like a state park.  Besides roasting marshmallows, going canoeing, seeing bald eagles, and picking wild raspberries, the satisfaction for me was the quiet. Fewer distractions and noise meant it was easier to connect with the people I love. Quiet rural settings, as I mentioned last week, have been proven to clear and calm our brains, and I noticed that. I was able to relax, and at the same time, crystallize some thoughts about growing the blog.

If you are also going on a road trip this summer, here’s a packing list for you:

The Family Road Trip Packing List

Have you ever vacationed in a state park? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments.

While Anne-Marie Slaughter’s article Why Women Still Can’t Have It All was heating up the telecom lines this week, another article — about why American kids are so spoiled — was also causing a hullabaloo.

Planting Morning Glory seeds with Luke with our moonflowers along the fence

Spoiled Rotten |  The New Yorker

…Contemporary American kids may represent the most indulged young people in the history of the world. It’s not just that they’ve been given unprecedented amounts of stuff—clothes, toys, cameras, skis, computers, televisions, cell phones, PlayStations, iPods. … They’ve also been granted unprecedented authority.

“Parents want their kids’ approval, a reversal of the past ideal of children striving for their parents’ approval,” Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell, both professors of psychology, have written. … This is a social experiment on a grand scale, and a growing number of adults fear that it isn’t working out so well: according to one poll, commissioned by Time and CNN, two-thirds of American parents think that their children are spoiled.

My friend Karen asked what I thought of this article, and I am working on a response.  It has to do with the fact that expecting your kids to help out, or not giving them everything they want, doesn’t come naturally.

Even though I expect a whole lot from my kids, who don’t have a whole lot of material things, what led us there was an almost accidental combination of budget constraints, a larger family, and our old-fashioned values.  More on this from me soon, but in the meantime, what do you think?

Having it all, part 1:  In defense of an ordinary life  |  The Happiest Mom

If you’re still wanting to mine the complicated issues in Why Women Still Can’t Have It All, Meagan Francis works her magic again and helps defuse the frenzy, as well as giving us new meaty questions to chew on:

But I wonder, when we’re talking about success and how to juggle work and life, if we are missing the larger question: what is success, and who gets to define it?  Are we interested in climbing that ladder because we really want what’s at the top?  Or do we just think we should want it, or believe others expect us to get there?

being OK with things as they are  |  mnmlist

I love how Leo Babauta (of Zen Habits fame), the author of this truly minimalist blog, reminds us of our constant striving.  How striving to improve things or change our lives keeps us running out of breath, keeps us spending money, keeps us adding more appointments to our calendars, keeps our houses cluttered with things.

He asks, “For each thing you think needs change, try sitting for a minute and see if you can simply accept each one, as they are right now.”

How to Save Money on Travel  |  Go Gingham

Sara Tetreault, a fellow frugal blogger at Go Gingham, has written a virtual compendium of tips on how to keep costs down on this somewhat costly pastime.  Sara, who is currently house-swapping and camping around Spain with her family, is an expert on budget travel and finding the fun in spending less.

Master the Ten-Second Rule  |  The Simple Dollar

I love systems and strategies that help keep me on track, so I was happy to find this neat little rule at The Simple Dollar blog.

When we can easily afford something, it can be really hard to convince ourselves not to buy that thing. But if we keep tossing more stuff into our cart, our credit cards bloat up and our houses become busy, overwhelming places.

Most food cravings pass in three minutes or less.  The desire to buy something can also be overcome if we just delay, distract, or in this case, discuss — in our own head.  Here’s how Simple Dollar founder Trent Hamm does it:

Whenever I’m considering making a purchase of any kind, I simply stop for ten seconds and ask myself whether this is really a worthwhile purchase. Do I actually need this item? Does it cause any sort of fulfillment in my life that isn’t already achieved by the things I currently own? Could I not put the cost of this item to better use?

What we’re up to:  My summer of organizing and spending time with my kids is chugging along nicely. I’ve reorganized the linen closet, two drawers of the girls’ craft cabinet, my business papers, and our home/garden/renovation papers. It’s hard to tear myself away from my work sometimes, but I always feel better after whipping a mess into shape.

At nights, my daughters and I can be found massaging each other’s feet with soothing cream and having long chats. Friday night Sofia and I stayed up late watching a terrible and beautiful thunderstorm, and this Saturday we managed to find a gas station with power, and a route out of town without downed trees, to spend the weekend with my parents and my sister and her husband at a state park in Maryland.

We waded in the water, canoed around the lake, and even roasted marshmallows over a bonfire. Quiet rural settings, I read recently, make our brains both calmer and sharper. I like that.

I hope your summer is off to a good start, too.